A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm really jealous of my best friend. She gets so much attention from the guys it's almot impossible for me to find any guy at all whenever we go out.Don't get me wrong, I really love her and care about her, she's my best friend after all, and I really am happy she's so succesful in the whole dating bussiness. However, I just can't help but be jealous!She is pretty, but I don't think I'm any less attractive than she is. I am confident about how I look, so that's not a problem. She is outgoing, but I myself have managed to be the same way. Overall, she doens't have something that I don't, from how I see it, at least. Maybe it's that she's taller than me, even though I'm not short myself. Meh.So she ALWAYS gets ALL the guys. I have lost count of the guys that are crazy for her. It's like everytime I go somewhere with her, I'm invisible. She draws people to her like a magnet. I try to be as sociable as possible and engage in conversations, but it only goes so far. Recently I got a huge crush on a waitor in a cafe I go to regurarly, and I started flirting with him a little, until my friend came. He forgot EVERYTHING about me, ignored me and asked her number. She knew I liked him and she let him know she's only interested in being his friend but it still crushed me.This has happened numerous times before with other guys I used to like. I'm starting to feel self conscious and like I'm not good enough. I can't tell her anything because she's done nothing wrong, really. I act happy everytime she goes on to me about her success with guys, but everytime I get back home I end up crying desperately because I just feel like I'll be single all my life. I've only had 1 boyfriend and that didn't mean anything much...Please, if you can, offer me some of your advice. I really need it and got nowhere else to ask..
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female
reader, methesupergirl  +, writes (10 July 2010):
Listen, don't worry, it is not you, it is her. I'm serious. I've had a friend like that. Almost exactly like that, only we were the same height. I have given this problem much thought, too much actually, and I've come to a conclusion that there is something about her that cannot rationally be explained (pheromones maybe?)but is definitely real, because EVERYONE has noticed that guys are drown to her like moths to a flame. She is like a magnet to guys. And she is not some drop dead gorgeous beauty, just an average girl. I had a big crush on a guy and it seemed he liked me too, but once, I ran into him at a party while I was with that friend, and of course he ended up chatting her up all night. Anyway, I'm not friends with her anymore (not because of that)and I feel relieved. You don't have to bring your friendship to an end, but maybe you could find another friend to go out with. Don't be jealous of her, because a person like that (at least in my experience)doesn't leave a good impression on those who know her. People try to find an explanation for her success with guys, and if it is not her looks, they assume she is probably an easy girl (not to use a bad word). This former friend of mine has lost many friends, because having so many guys after her has given her a bad reputation.
A
female
reader, Vicci +, writes (16 April 2010):
 I have exactly the same problem. I'm a model, but yet my bestfriend still gets more attention.
I think the key is to stay confident, which might mean distancing yourself from your bestfriend for a bit so you become confident again. Go out with other friends and see if you can get anyones number. A brief fling will raise your confidence and make you feel great.
good luck.
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