A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing a guy for the last 2 months. At the beginning he was chasing me, asking me out on dates, he had swept me off my feet. As I got to know him my feelings for him got deeper and deeper. After three weeks he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. After this he became distant and I began to worry. I kept asking if everything was ok with him and then we would begin to fight, he would tell me to relax and that he was ok and that he did like me. Then shortly after this he broke up with me. He told me he didnt have feelings for me anymore, but they might come back and that he still wanted to be my friend. I told him that I didnt want to be his friend because I was hurt. I am so confused on what happened? I refuse to contact him. I am wondering if he will contact me? What should I do? Please help, I cant stop thinking about him.
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Leave him be. I agree that he liked the challenge and chase of getting you and when they win, the game is over. If this guy calls again, don't take his call. He'll just do the same thing over to you because he really isn't ready for a relationship, just the chase.
Find someone who knows what they want and they want you. You will feel much better about yourself and you wont ever have to wonder if he will leave you or flake out on you.
I'm speaking from experience here and unfortunately I know when you reject this guy he will begin the chase in earnest but that is all it is for him. Continue to be strong and if he does convince you that he is ready maybe give him one more chance. (I did give the guy a 2nd chance and he blew it.) Eventually this guy will figure things out and he'll know what he wants in life. But once this rift happens between two people, there is no foundation of security for one of you...in this case, you. Trust is earned.
A
female
reader, 8kaykay9  +, writes (5 November 2008):
aww hunni i know its hurts when u fall for someone an then they leave my ex wanted to stay mates with me when we split he didnt wanna loose me altogther if u get me but we broke up still lovin each other it was his drink tha we broke up over point is i didnt think i could b his mate because it was to hard but wanted him in my life even if just mates we promised to always be there for one another however hes now moved on an since we split i aint heard from him at all an i sat thinkin im not callin him because hes moved onan aint got in touch with me so obv dont care if he wants me he will call but then thought to myself what if hes waitin for me to call an wants to talk or thinkin the same thing etc an what if i leave it to long an because i aint contacted him he will think i dont wanna know so wont bother etc i got myself in a right state an decided tha i didnt wanna think back in a few months time what if id just called him if u really like him then go for it what have u got to loose ? if anything ull be puttin ur mind at ease knowin one way or another what he wants an from there carry on with your life
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