A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm going to be really simple here:I like this girl, I'm too afraid to tell her because I'm sure she won't like me like that, it's been a year since I've known her. Her behaviour is very confusing: Only when she wants to she will call me. If I call, email, message or anything I'm sure she ignores me, she barely ever replies. When we go out which is very rare maybe once every two months she shows great interest in everything about me and what I do and she will only ever go out when it's me and her, she won't include me in her circle of friends.On social networks she deletes any tagging of her in any photo of me and her or if I invite her to an event she won't go, but remember this is only in our groups of circles it seems as though she wants to keep her and I separate from any social gathering even in the public domain.She sincerely forgot about a time when we were supposed to go to the movies. I was left waiting and when I called her she totally forgot and apologised. it sounds genuine.I named a star after her for her birthday and on the back I wrote a nice message about friendship. But secretly I love her very much, I think she suspects this. I'm afraid if I tell her I will lose the friendship, I have told her once before I liked her but it was not reciprocal.Please help, I do not know what to do??? Any advice would be greatly helpful. If you need to know more please ask. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): id just tell her how i felt about her.your friendship might be at stake here,but get it out in the open and tell her when the time is right how much you feel for her and see where it goes.you might lose a friend,she might say she dont like you like that and just wants to be friends,but who knows,maybe sell say she likes you too.but dont ever try to figure out a woman or why she does things,itll just leave you more confused
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply,
Your reply made me feel much better.
She's actually quite particular about being with a guy, i mean she is looking to be with someone. i dont think she is mean like your friend though she's a hard believer in karma - and ive seen its wrath too! lol
She did mention to me somthing quite unusual but interesting. she said to me that when she is married or in a relationship she only wants to be with someone on the "good times" and her example was that in the house they live in, they would sleep in seperate rooms because of things like snooring and having your own space etc. Now I did find this quite interesting because thats what past generations in the 18th century and even upto our grand parent used to do. i figure she is a very old fashioned girl and is quite modest and takes her time - She said to me she has standards.
What do you think of all that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): I know a girl just like this. And girls in general can be guilty of such a thing very often.
She either conciously or subconciously KNOWS you like her... But she knows.
And she also knows on some level that what she's doing to you is mean but she's ignoring it and just concentrating on how nice it is to be friends with you... Ignpring your deep feelings.
In general, it sounds as if this girl doesn't genuinely like you back.
The girl i know who is like this is CRUEL. She gives many boys the oomplete wrong idea and as she is attractive and lovely they fall desperately in love with her but then she'll treat them in an on-off sort of way. (Oh and she has a long term boyfriend!) She gets kicks out of it.
The truth is many girls subconsiously get kicks out of it because they have insecurities about themselves... And enjoy having attention from other guys because it makes them feel good and they like the feeling of being in control.
I myself have been guilty of this before, and the reason i never wanted to actually go into a relationship with any of the boys that paid me all this wonderful attention, was because behind my confident facade i actually FEARED relationships.
Maybe this is how she feels... But in essence, she doesn't feel for you as much as you feel for her. In fact it sounds no way even close.
It sounds like this relationship you have with this girl is mean on you. You love her so much but you have to look at her in that way from afar... I think you should tell her how you really feel, once and for all, or atleast make major flirtatious suggestions but telling her outright would be the best idea. Your friendship may be at stake but imagine having years of friendship with this girl and it never go anywhere for you to end up thinking 'What if?'
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