A
female
age
36-40,
*freena
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 22yr old asian sikh girl and i am with the love of my life, he is black carribean and is aged 24. We have been 2gether 4 years; had our problems but no doubt love eachother more than anything. recently I have found out that i am pregnant, i need to tell my parents; however they dont know about my partner. Its going to be a shock and i dont know how they will react. my dad is very strict and has been very voilent in the past and my mum would side my dad enspecially in this situation. I dont like to come across as if i dont care for my family and respect them, but when your in love you dont look at a persons colour or religon, im so glad i met my partner he give me so much happiness. since a young age i left home due to my dads violence and have been living on my own since, me and my partner live together and are very happy, i want to come clean and have a happy life but i fear things going badly, i hope i can get someones opinion on this.Apologies for the length.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): You need to meet with them where there will be other people around, just in case your father flies of the handle, so to speak. I agree with BigSis, what she has said here is the most inportant of all:''have your boyfriend close by, so you can call him should they get nasty or should they accept him and agree to meet with him.Approach them, explain to them how much you love and respect them, and then explain to them the situation, about how much you and your partner feel about eachother. Remind them of how good he is to you and how much he respects you, that you are ready to commit to this man for the rest of your life. Tell them that all you are asking from them is their blessing.''it is your life and what is most inportant is that you have found someone that loves you and makes you happy. best of luck with the pregnancy and Congratulations!! xx
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (23 March 2008):
 hey, maybe you guys could meet in a public place. Maybe with you mother. Break it to her and then meet up with your father and mother again in a public place to discuss things, if you go to their home, take your boyfriend just incase your dad kicks off.good luck x forcus on your boyfriend and baby x
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (23 March 2008):
 Afreena,
You are undoubtably very much in love with eachother. If the pair of you are ready to have your baby and are seeing a future together, then I think you should go ahead and enjoy your little gift made from love.
How to tell your parents that you not only have a boyfriend, and he is of a different nationality to yours, and also telling them that you are pregnant, will for sure, and understandably be a shock for them.
You need to meet with them where there will be other people around, just in case your father flies of the handle, so to speak.
Maybe have your boyfriend close by, so you can call him should they get nasty or should they accept him and agree to meet with him.
Approach them, explain to them how much you love and respect them, and then explain to them the situation, about how much you and your partner feel about eachother. Remind them of how good he is to you and how much he respects you, that you are ready to commit to this man for the rest of your life. Tell them that all you are asking from them is their blessing.
Maybe remind them that you are 22-25, and with or without their approval, you will still go ahead with your life.
The ultimatum is, accept it or lose their daughter for good, depriving them of seeing their grandchild. I know it's easier said than done, but you must be strong and hold your own.
*****
A similar situation happened in my family.
I have five siblings, my youngest sister, then 22, fell madly in love with an Anglo Indian guy 7 years her senior. Now my parents were very strict Orthodox, we all knew our little sister was seeing him, he was a lovely guy, our parents had no idea.
We approached my mother first, softened her up a little, and then persuaded her to break it gently to my father and in turn persuade him to agree to meet with the boyfriend.
My father with much persuasion agreed. Even our eldest brother came over from abroad to offer his support.
The meeting took place at our parents house and we were all present.
My father took one look at him and just lost it. But that anger didn't last long. Whether he approved or not, he had to accept him because he didn't want to lost his youngest daughter.
Like i said, we are six brothers and sisters, and out of the six of us - guess which is the only one that has remained married to the same person for 22 years? They are still just as in love today they were then.
*****
Afreena, the sooner you tell them the better, it has to be done, but how you do it is your choice. I'm not saying my way is the right way, but it could be a step in the right direction. I sincerely hope that the outcome will be a calm and happy one.
I wish for you both to be very happy in your future together. Please drop us a line and let us know how things are going.
Best wishes and good luck my love.
BigSis xXx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): You definitely need to tell them, but you should do so in a safe way. If you don't feel you can safely tell your father in person, do it over the phone. It's a bit impersonal, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Your parents need to recognize that you are an adult and have made an adult decision to love and have a child. If they cannot accept that fact, they have no place in that child's life.
I wish you the best of luck!
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