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I'm pregnant, but who's the daddy!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Pregnancy, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

heya, iv just found out im pregant and im not sure who the father is.

i found out 4 days ago that i am pregrant and still am not sure if i should keep it or not. there are two possible fathers but there is only 3 days between them, so could never say who for denfiant who the father is.

i went to the doctors and they estimated that im about 4 weeks gone. i have a scan next week but dont know if i should keep the baby or if i should tell either of the bo right im off to sleep night night u irish horse shagging perv :)) ys that im pregant all together.

i am still in contact with the two boys as one was a friend and the othere i was dating. i do want to let them know but really dont know how to tell them or if its best to tell them at all.

im so confussed, its all i can think about but can not decides what to do for the best

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think you need to decide if you WANT to have the baby or not. If you DO decide to go through with the pregnancy, you should tell them that you are pregnant and do not know who the father is.

I would not suggest an early DNA test. I would wait til the baby is born.

I get that you don't want to tell them because it will make YOU look bad. After all YOU slept with both guys (unprotected?) with in days of each other.

You need to own you actions. And make a choice. Keep the baby or not. Don't worry so much about the boys, focus on YOU and the choice YOU have to make.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (23 February 2014):

like I see it agony auntI did some further reading on the subject because I was curious, and I stand corrected.

You can in fact have your baby's DNA tested prenatally, although it appears to be pretty expensive to have this done and two of the three potential procedures pose a small (but widely acknowledged) risk of disrupting the pregnancy.

If this is something you are interested in doing I strongly suggest you consult with a doctor about which procedure would be most appropriate for you and your baby, and go from there. In this case you would most likely have to tell both potential fathers you are pregnant before you know whose baby it actually is, as you will need DNA samples from both for comparison purposes when the test is done.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (23 February 2014):

like I see it agony auntAre you ready (emotionally and financially) to have a child, and to be a mother to him or her for 18 years knowing you may do so as a single parent?

If not, are you ready to have a child and to accept the emotional difficulties involved with choosing adoption?

I don't think telling these guys (or not) is the most significant of your concerns at the moment, not while you're considering termination. Decide that first, and take your time as you will live with whatever decision you make for the rest of your life.

But if you decide on keeping the baby, then both potential fathers have a right to know they may soon be helping to provide for a little one, as this could entail major life changes for both you and whichever guy turns out to be the father. As far as I'm aware, you won't be able to DNA test the baby until after he or she is born.

Good luck and best wishes.

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A female reader, cgrlygo United States +, writes (23 February 2014):

cgrlygo agony auntI believe your fist course of action is to decide what you want. there are other options like adoption... once you decide what you want to keep it or not... then you can decide to tell the father or not and have a DNA test.. Remember if you decide to adopt.. (although this is not what I would suggest) you don't have to tell them... although I believe its the honest thing to do, but im not you. 22 is awful young to raise a child on your own... its a lot to take on.. plus the main thing is to put that baby first... I think the real question is.. Can you do that? all the best...

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