A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel2311
writes: (Well first of all I have to mention that I am pregnant with my first child and this makes this issue so much hardier. ) I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and we always have problems and bicker at eachother constantly. When we moved in with eachother I noticed that the area that we had moved to was close to an ex of mine that I'd always wondered the " what if's ". That just cuz' when I had dated him we weren't in the state of mind for be in an relationship. But now I've gotten in contact with my ex and the sexual heat between us is still burning. Now he does kno that I am with someone else and we tried to respect that when we promised ourselves that we'd remain friends. But after 5 months the tension* between eachother after finding out the real reasons on why we had broken up and what were our true intentions when we were together. The truth just made me give up on the relationship I already had and jump back in to his arms. I just he felt it to cuz' just out of no where he pulled me towards him and stares me out and gently kisses me. ( I swore I felt so lifted off the floor that it felt like a movie ) now I'm pregnant by the same guy and still stuggle with him while my feelings grow for my ex. Now I'm confuzed either I stay with my child's father and stay fiancally safe or struggle with my child and try to get my ex to take me back. Now he has raised the question that if he were to ask to get back with me would I leave my boyfriend? And I've just told him that I would hav e to think about it due to the fact that I am pregnant with his son. ( by the way b4 u start feelin bad for the guy I'm with now. He has put me thro hell like put me in the hospital for beating me while still pregnant 2 days b4 x mas, broken idems of mine , harrasses me with his issues and has wild out burst) soo now what should I do?
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female
reader, angel2311 +, writes (10 March 2008):
angel2311 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to all who have reponded to my question, I wish for all the best luck to all
I feel like I needed to add this about myself as well 'cuz I believe it relates with what is goin on. I do suffer from deep depression and dependity* issues. Like for example I don't feel comfortble being single or living alone or I'll get paranoid and shaky 'cuz I'm tramatized over a past issue I went thro when I was younger. I just wanna be happy like any other person on this earth and have a great male influence for my unborn son. One of the things I wanna know is ( by the way I know I'm being a bit pushing when it comes to trying to be with my ex ) how can I tell if my ex really wants to be with me? I ask 'cuz when were together we do make out and tell eachother that we love eachother. But he's abit hard to figure out and kinda leaves me in the air about certain things. I just can't get him off my mind ( I feel like a teenager ) and I just want him so bad that its hurts. I love the fact that he's keeps it real with me and is abit of an hardass. Oh god I just need some advice to get him back with me. Thanx for hearing me out
A
female
reader, angel2311 +, writes (9 March 2008):
angel2311 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I don't want to sound weak minded and I do know that its wrong for the father of my unborn child to hit me the way he did in december 2 days b4 x-mas. The deal with him is that he is stuck on a past hookup I had with a friend ( well now ex-friend) of his b4 we had even started goin out. Ever since I told him about it in the begining he's obsessed* , tortures himself and me with the issue. I've kept reminding him that it happened b4 I kno him and my past isn't something that he should beat himself on the head over. It had gotten worst as time went on and would take his fusterations* out on me by calllin me names and lowering myself esteam by bringin up past personal issue that I've delt with. The few times we had phyical fights ( I would win lots of them ) weren't that bad cuz it wouldn't get too crazy. But that night 2 days b4 x-mas I was like 5 months prego and I simply wanted to leave and go to my moms house to calm down cuz I was too tired to keep agruing with him. When he snapped and chocked me, dragged me across the apt. And threw juice at me while screaming bloodymary. I told him right then and there that it was over but he wasn't hearing it and left outside to smoke a cig. So while he did that I told advantige and called the cops but for what when all they did was send me to the hospital and did nothing to him. They said since I wasnt brused that they can't aggrest him. ( I don't bruse easy cuz my skin is caramel complexion ) so when I get to the hospital I was rushed to labor and delivery and quickly gave me oxgen and an IV. I was dehydrorated and my troat was stuffed with a lot of vomit that I kept coughing out. The doctor was in shock and pissed off when she found out that he wasn't aggrested cuz the state that I was in I could of died. It was the last time he ever hit me and just promises that he'd change. But his additude is still the same and it leaves me feelin fed-up and I don't want to leave cuz he has said that "if we did brake up he'd have to disappear from his son's life cuz he wouldn't be able to handle seeing me with someone else". I don't want my son not to kno who his father is or have no father figure in his life. I'm not sure the my ex would take me back even if I would leave the father of my child cuz he hasn't made it clear to me and it would be wrong of me to expect him to take up the father role so quickly. I don't kno what to do anymore cuz I'm about to pop any day this month and it just makes things soo much hardier
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 tbh i personally think you should leave him.......if he beats you that is. Think of your child.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 You have got to pick one or the either.
Make a list of the pro's and con's and whoever has got a longer list under the pro's, then he is the one for you.
Take your time to compile them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Mmm, what a suprise ending. I don't really care about this ex of yours and the whole triangle. Guy beats you. You move out!End of story. What is idems? Because if he beat you so hard to break something you should REALLY be out of there NOW!Wife-beaters do NOT get better. Seek proffesional help, I have no idea how the US works for this, maybe someone else can supply you with info for a shelter if that is needed. Talk to your doctor or a priest or social worker or something but get out now, you are pregnant, you don't just have yourselve to think about but your baby as well. That is now your first priority.Move out, get your life in order for yourselve and your child and then perhaps you can start worrying about what to do about this other guy.Financial insecurity is a powerfull trap but surely even the US has social backup for people in your situation? Family? Friends? He WILL hit you again and harder and most wife-beaters move on to the kids if they get a chance. GET OUT! I seen it as a child, GET OUT NOW!
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (9 March 2008):
 HEY!!
You have just said that he beats you, then that should be enough to make you want to leave, but do it now, before he finds out about you playing around.. it would be safer for the child, and the father should help financially for his child!!.. Mail me to talk if you want to :) x x x GOOD LUCK!!
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