A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 5 months pregnant and have two toddler daughters. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we just bought a house. This is the first year he has made a lot of money since he opened his own business. He recently left the home stating he is very confused, because some girl on his baseball team, who was his friend's girlfriend showed him lots of affection. He feels like he loves her and he loves me too. I won't let him have his cake and eat it too. He does not want to leave her. He works and pays my bills, still since I don't work. He calls everyday and when I don't answer, or if he hears that I went out he triess to tell me to leave the house. I don't want to talk to him any more. But I feel like I am under his thumb, because I am pregnant, no job, two toddler's.He is trying to rent an apartment for his new girlfriend and himself, but still wants to control me. How can I stop receiving his calls, without being thrown out on the street??
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female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch +, writes (18 January 2011):
 You don't need this crap. I gave you step by step advice it will get you no your feet. Plus he needs to pay support on the kids. Show him you don't need his shit.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll my kids are his babies I started going to school...Ive always worked but since he made alot of money this year told me to quit and that he wanted four kids and to get married that he finally got a big house for his family He was always nice so I believed him then one day he changed completely he is still nice as long as I am nice but if he notices I am distant or avoiding him then thats when he beggins to be nasty and try's to make me feel like I will be homeless...:(
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 January 2011):
 I'm guessing the house is in his name since he has a job...and he makes the payments as well.
How did you get so dependent on him in the first place? Why don't you have a job? Never, ever get dependent on a boyfriend..because when it ends you could potentially get thrown out in the street.
Now, since he has this other girlfriend and is getting an apartment for them to live..it won't be long until he dumps you. You already know that. I doubt he will shell out $ for two girlfriends for very long. Are the toddlers his? Well the baby you are pregnant with, you can nab him in child support when the baby is born.
What you need to do is start forming a game plan. Do you have any friends, relatives, parents that you can move in with temporarily? I suggest you get a job to start supporting your children.
There are ways out of this situation, you just have to make one and put it into effect before you get thrown out on your face.
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A
female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch +, writes (17 January 2011):
I see that you are in the us. I have some very good advice for you. He made lots of money this year fanfuckintastic! All three kids are his i assume. Go to your local family support office apply for child support and rack his ass! With him making good money his kids will get a large chunk of it. This will help you pay your own bills and be a good mother to those babies without a side dish of heartache. While you at child support apply for temporary assistance and food stamps until the child support is ordered. After the child support is ordered cut off the temporary assistance and keep the stamps. I am in this situation also and me and my kids are stable without the bs. I almost forgot while in family support ask them where you can apply for hud housing the state will pay for you up to a 3 bedroom home for you and your children. Now that you have this information, i hope you follow every step. Welcome to your future baby girl leave his butt in the past where he belongs.
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A
female
reader, camping-gal  +, writes (17 January 2011):
This guy is obviously a complete douche.
You need to assert yourself: don't go completely ex-girlfriend crazy if you want to keep the house but you need to get rid of him from your personal life.
However, if your kids are also his, remember that even if you two aren't together, he still needs to pay child support, especially if he has more money now.
You need to start your own independent life. Rely on trusted support systems like friends and family until you can work again, and eventually you can cut him off completely.
He obviosuly isn't good for the kids if he can't even decide which girl he wants. You need to tell him that you won't put up with this.
You have to be strong and you'll get through this, especially with your wondeful kids by your side. You'll find that the older they get, the more they will help you in life, but it isn't fair for him to treat you like this, and he needs to reminded that he has a reesponsibility.
Also, kids are wonderful, but just think if you can afford another one next time.
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (17 January 2011):
 This man is sick and irresponsible. Seek the advice of a lawyer, he should be legally obligated to provite financial support to his kids, especially now that he is making a lot of money. Leave the house and rent a smaller appartment if necessary. Ask for a little help from your parents. Hope you find your way to work things out. Best wishes
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