A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay my boyfriend and i were going out years and we broke up and then i found out i was pregant and told him he cried saying he wasn't ready for this but he'll be there, I told him i'm not a bitch i have no problem with him seeing the child and coming to the scans, at the end of the day it is about the baby not me. but he keeps saying it doesn't mean we will get back together and it don't change anything. I don't want to get with him again, he cheated, lied and stole my heart and i aint interested in him but he keeps banging on about how we not gettinng back together so how do i try to be nice about him stop saying that? i mean i want to be nice because I've seen what its like when a child has got a father figure around or that mucks them about.
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female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (1 August 2010):
You don't be nice to him afraid he might not act like a soon to be father! hell he's not acting like one now. the only way i know how to tell him you said he cheated on you and lied to you it wouldn't break my heart none i would just be straight up w/ him. you can be the father to our child and be there for him or her but that doesn't mean you and i are getting back together those days are over so we need to be there for the baby and act like soon to be parents!!!
Congrads!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): Decide what you want. Decide what kind of life YOU want and want to provide the child.
Then, without the father in your mind, set about making those goals happn.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Be blunt. e.g. "I KNOW IT MEANS WE ARE NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER YA TOSSER I WOULDN'T WANT YOU BACK ANYWAY EVEN IF YOU WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH!" Then follow that up with: "But I do want you in this baby's life so I will tell you when scan appts are and other things so you can be involved. Cool?"
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A
female
reader, LyricStorm +, writes (1 August 2010):
 There really is no way to be truly nice about the situation, If he is constly harrassing you and saying :we're not getting back together: and you have already told him that that is what you want as well, then you need to let him know what is up let him know you are tired of him YET AGAIN making you feel bad you dont need him in your life the only thing you want for him is to be in his childs life and thats that!!!
It isnt about you or him anymore its about the life inside of you and if he cant see that then maybe he isnt really ready to be in the childs life..... Put some struture around your situation let him know if he dont stop it and get it together he wont be in the baby's life but he will help you pay for the child because again you didnt lay down by yourself to make this child so you wont struggle to raise this chilld..
And really thats the bottom line BE FIRM AND AGGRESSIVE.
Girl i wish i was your friend cause a friend would truly tell you what you need to do and let him know as well for you if you couldnt do it yourself..
But i hope this helped you!!!!!
Goodluck!!!!!
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