A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 weeks pregnant; the father has been around for the most part, throughout the pregnancy. But we had a falling out shortly before finding out that I was expecting and he began dating another women, this turned into one of those drama driven relationships, she was still married and ended up going to back to her husband. Their relationship was the source of alot on tension between us two, because she always came first. He's obviously heartbroken now and has been coming around recently in a completely different pretense than before but not in an obvious way, I'm not sure how I feel about this or him. There's apart of me that wants to make something work for the baby and another that thinks he's lonely and that I deserve better. What should I do? Should I pursue this or avoid it? And if I do pursue it what is the best way to do so?
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female
reader, cHARR  +, writes (31 December 2008):
no matter what happens, you should never stop him from seeing his child. Maybe you should take a risk and give it a go?
If he goes wrong again though you know for your babies sake throw him out, it's healthier for your child to have two happy single parents than two angry ones in a sour relationship causing atmosphere.
Good luck
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Ive been where you have been and your emotions are all over the place. Every women will still have a soft spot for her child's father and they sure know it. He will use you. It happens so often. When he was up there he didnt want to know you and was capable of abadoning you whilst you were with child rather than try and work things out. I agree with 'petina1' that he will most probably stay with you until the next women comes alomg. You will become that something to fill the void for him whilst he is on the prowl for something better (so to speak) to come along. I mean we could be wrong but trust me if you are anything like me, you will feel alot worse if it happens again.
I'd say dont jump into anything. You are worth so much more and if he really wants to be with you he should fight for you. You are more than just a women who is there for his plessure and convienience. You will do fine on your own as women are powerful. Alot powerful that we give ourselves credit for.
Good Bless x
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (25 December 2008):
 A baby is always a blessing and a source of joy to be celebrated!
Find your child a father: someone you both will love and be loved by. There really are people out there who will fit the bill for you and your precious child. Mama always said, there's a lid for every pot. I know your child has a bio dad, but the child will need a father who will be a part of both your lives, day in and day out. It may be the bio dad, but if he left you for someone already (and married, at that), chances are he's too immature for you.
You get to pick the lucky guy! You are in the driver's seat of your life!
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (24 December 2008):
 sounds to me that he is being with you now as a stop gap until the next woman comes along. He's not treated you how he should do being the mother of his child. The only involvement now should be when the baby is born and in asking him how much maintenance he is going to give you to provide for his child. Maybe he may change his mind about you and want to be a family when the child comes along but a the moment he is just playing at it. If you havent got his full attention now for yourself disregarding all others i think you are going to have problems in the future. Try to concentrate on you and the baby when he/she comes along and if he wants to get involved with the baby then let him, but be wary of your own feelings with him. hope this helps.
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