A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im 22 yrs old with child and a partner.for the past couple of months i have been having a fling with someone who i know really well, but he has his own family too and i think im falling in love with him.i cant help it and its hurting me because i know that we can never be 'official'.please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, michelleAKAmandi  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hey there again,
I left out the fact that if you leave that situation alone now, then you won't be AS hurt later. The longer you stay the deeper you get, the more it will hurt. I'm sure you know this, but maybe need someone to tell you as well.
Any thoughts on what you'll do?
Good luck..
Michelle
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (12 September 2008):
This is going to sound harsh and possibly make you stomp your feet, but you asked for the pain/hurt your are feeling.
You knew this man had a family, so why put yourself in a situation where you know you are more than likely going to end up hurt.
Did you think you were "better" than or for him than his significant other?
I mean really, why did you even entertain the thought and even more so the act of casting yourself into this mans life?
Selfishness comes to mind, but I don't know the story in its entirety.
I know my words are really sharp and that's because I don't believe in sugar coating anything and am answering to make you realize that you were and are bound to hurt in your present situation.
So is your question how do you get over this man?
or How do you tell your partner?
Both are hard, but a start down the right path to making things better for yourself and your partner.
He, your partner, doesn't deserve this and you should be open and honest with him.
What exactly do you need help with?
I'm throwing things out there in hopes it will help.
Looking forward to helping you through your hard time...
Michelle
PS - Is your partner the father of your unborn baby or is it the man you are having the fling with?
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (4 September 2008):
 Never say never. Are you pregnant as the title to your question states, or do you already have a child? Anyway, not that it matters a whole lot. If your partner found out, he would probably be crushed, so I believe it's safe to say that if you left him (which, in my opinion is what you should do) it would hurt him a whole lot less. Spare him his time and energy. As for the other guy, perhaps letting him know that you have these feelings for him would be a start. See where he stands with it. Does he want to keep you around as a booty call and continue cheating on his lady, or is he willing to leave her for you? Always remember, too, that typically, when you enter a relationship under these types of circumstances, it is highly unlikely your relationship will be with trust and faithfulness. Think this through. Try to see it from all perspectives. Would you appreciate your partner cheating on you and hiding it from you for so long? I figure, the least you could do is give him a chance to find new love, one that dosnt stray or have wandering eyes. Good luck, I hope whatever decision you make is the one that is considerate of all peoples involved.
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