A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so im 5 and a half months pregnant and it was unplanned my bf is 5 years old than me. He was more pleased about the baby than i was and he wanted us to get married. But 2 weeks ago I found out he was still seeing his ex. He texts her everyday and when i ask him who it is he says a friend and changes the subject. He doesnt want to have sex with me in case he hurts the baby and doesnt want to hurt me. He hasnt come to a scan with me yet and we are not living together. My baby is coming soon and im so confused. He says he hates my family and friends and is always rude to them. I love him but im scared. Is he cheating on me? Is he going to leave me? He has gone to her house to stay the night but says there was nothing between them and that they are jsut good friends they were together for 2 years before he met me. I havent seen him for 2 days and he hasnt called and he is at a work thing but i want him to call why hasnt he called? im so hurt should i go back to my family and stay with them so i am not alone or wait for him. All this is taking toll on me and im not feeling well and am always tired and feel sick and drained. My Parents told me it would never work out am i stupid and i went against them and now its not working out its my fault ? what should i do ? ADVICE PLZ!!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Hating your family and friends is not a good sign as it makes life very difficult for you, having to choose who to see.
He could be cheating but then he could just not tell you who it is because you were jealous when there was no need to be. I think you should talk to him about why there is still so much contact between them, and try and find out whether he is cheating or not.
Don't give up your family and friends for anyone. They are your support. If he is wrong for you though, you need to reach that conclusion yourself by finding out the facts.
A
male
reader, madflash  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Face it. He HAS cheated on you.
He's got you now. You're there waiting for him, and believing whatever he tells you. He holds all the cards and there is no challenge for him anymore. He's won the game, and he's searching for challenges elsewhere.
Or
You are too needy and dependant on him, feeling alone and vulnerable to the point of hysteria, probably draining every ounce of energy he has. Your pregnancy and this relationship have forced you into a corner, and you're emotions are intensified by both a drastic change in your life and the changes going on in your body as well.
But more than likely... It's both of these scenarios coming down on you right now.
The time has come for action.
Break up with your boyfriend and go back to your parents. Tell them that you made a big mistake, and have a good cry. It will be sad, devastating really, but don't wait for that jerk another day. Save yourself.
There's no way in hell he should have stayed over his ex girl's house. That was unforgivable, especially while you were in this condition. There are no circumstances that can justify that.
Once you're gone he may come crawling back to you, but then it will be on your terms. Don't get yourself talked into a corner ever again.
And if he doesn't crawl back, then he would not have been there for you in the first place... even if you stayed, and tried, and cried and cried and cried.
I promise you that everything will get better. That baby is going to make you smile again.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 It sounds as if he is cheating. Although I can't be 100% sure. Confront him and ask him, maybe he is just scared. Even so he should be supporting you at this time. I know you love him but you must think about what is best for you and your baby. Even if it means being single (not the worst thing in the world) millions of women do it every day, You will be supprised at your own strength.
The brilliant thing about having a family is they are always there. Go home and talk to your parents, Get your support network going and take control of your life. He should not be doing this to you.
This is NOT your fault, Please go to your family and friends you need them at this time, and please look after yourself. I am here if you want to chat more.
Let your strength come out and let it help you.
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A
female
reader, Wisdom +, writes (18 April 2008):
It sounds as if he is cheating. Although I can't be 100% sure. Confront him and ask him, maybe he is just scared. Even so he should be supporting you at this time. I know you love him but you must think about what is best for you and your baby. Even if it means being single (not the worst thing in the world) millions of women do it every day, You will be supprised at your own strength.
The brilliant thing about having a family is they are always there. Go home and talk to your parents, Get your support network going and take control of your life. He should not be doing this to you.
This is NOT your fault, Please go to your family and friends you need them at this time, and please look after yourself. I am here if you want to chat more.
Let your strength come out and let it help you.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Hi,
sorry to see you in this state. You need to go back to your parents if they are offering support, as your boyfriend is a rat - pure and simple.
Surely you don't buy his BS about the platonic relationship with his ex, he should be focusing on taking care of his pregnant girlfriend. And he doesnt even live with you!
You are going to have to come to terms with doing without him. But you are entitled to financial support so dont give up on that. But give up on him, he just sounds like a liar and a cheat. For once maybe your friends and parents are spot on about him - if you think about it they would have to be pretty horrible friends to turn you against him.
Have faith in the people who have supported you all your life instead of the boyfriend who is abandoning you and sleeping with his ex - its not really that hard to figure out is it?
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