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Im preffering sex with women at the moment, does this make me a lesbian ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi, i'm 18 years old.

i've always gone out with guys and done sexual things with them.

but at a party last weekend, i got really drunk and ended up doing lots of sexual things with another girl who i met at the party.

she walked up towards me in the dark garden where everyone was drinking and dancing and she was feeling my bum as she brushed past me!

it turned me on loads.

so i followed her upstairs into the spare bedroom.

and we really got it on!

we made out, fingered each other, licked each other out and was just generally playing with each others body bits in a spare locked room in the house.

i really enjoyed it and i think the girl did too, because she was moaning an awful lot.

she gave me her phone number and told me to ring her the next day, so i did.

we arranged to meet up the same day i phoned her and we ended up doing what we did at the party!

but only this time was in a barn!

it was so exciting and we had such a laugh.

i really do love it, and i'm starting to fall for her!

i know i'm quite young to not know exactly what my sexuality is, but does this mean i'm bisexual or a lesbian?

because i now enjoy sex more with girls rather than boys, and i've kind of lost interest in boys.

since that party, i've been eyeing up women and starting to think "wow she's so hot" i'm scared incase i'm turning into a lesbian!

please help.

View related questions: drunk, lesbian

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A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2007):

This is a really good sign. It shows you are sexually open with yourself, and will likely not have repressed attitude. Don't put yourself in a box so that you think you won't enjoy a man again. Hell, you never knew before that you would enjoy a woman... Some hot guy might come along and you'll be with a man again.

Don't worry about what your orientation is. Just enjoy sex with anyone you want! (assuming of course that it's safe and consentual).

Have fun and enjoy!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007):

Bisexuality is very natural and is probably more common than people admit. There are so many people who secretly fantasize about the same sex, but not everyone has tried it. I think the problem is people are afraid. You for example had a great time, but you are worried for some reason that you might be a lesbian. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a lesbian. I had a lesbian friend who never knew a man. She is now in her early 30's, met a guy, had a fling, fell in love, and is now married to him. What does that say? Even the most lesbian of women might actually be bisexual. I think there are too many labels. Some people are just plain, sexual. Others are non-sexual and some are very conservative and afraid to experiment. Just enjoy being sexual, whatever that ends up being for you.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2007):

cd206 agony auntDon't bother trying to define yourself right now. You're at an age of experimentation in your life and maybe you're a lesbian and maybe you're straight but it's only through having these experiences that you can know that.

If you are a lesbian what exactly scares you about it? Despite the negative attitude of the press to gay people theyre just as worthwhile as straight people. We're all equal and it's being a good person, not your sexuality that matters. Be cool for now, do what feels natural and don't stress out.

CD

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A female reader, katrinadeon United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2007):

katrinadeon agony aunthi first of all stop worrying! easier said than done i know. maybe you are bi-curious rather than lesbian or bi- sexual. but either way as long as you are happy does it really matter? i dont mean that in a horrible way either just pointing out that you have to live your life by your own directions not by following certain paths so that you dont get judged. perhaps you found this experience with a woman particulary exciting and arousing because it was new, different and something a bit secretive? think about how it would be if you chose to only have relatinships with women from now on and it became the norm for you, would it still be as exciting ad thrilling or would it lose its spark as soon as the novelty wears off and would you find yourself secretly having sex with a man? just enjoy yourself you have your whole life ahead of you to settle down with mr right or mrs right. follow your heart and have fun (responsibly!) stop worrying over wether or not you are sexually confused and just live yor life by your rules. xxx

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