A
male
age
36-40,
*avo999
writes:hi im a 22 year old guy and my problem is that i cant talk to girls, the furthest i ever get is eye contact, i dont remember the last time i had a conversation with a girl. This is especially bad if I'm attracted to the girl. I feel as if its pretty much impossible to get anywhere with her, the thing is that I'm actually very good looking but I'm painfully shy so I have no sex life, never had a girlfreind and I've been laid only once which I regret because I didn't even really like her the only reason it happened was that we were drunk but any way if anyone has any advice about this please let me know, thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): I know your pain. I am 23 and am just now beginning to be able to talk to guys. What I found that works for me is that I stopped caring so much. I know it sounds pat but it is true. We psych ourselves out too much. When I see someone I could be interested in I try to think of it this way: "That person looks interesting, I think I would like to get to know them better." (in what ever context you would like to use the word "know")If it doesn't workout, the experience doesn't go under failure or rejection, it's just you learning about someone.
A
female
reader, kittykhaos  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 lol you sound just like my best friend he is 21 and im the only girl he has ever slept with because he just can't talk to girls. The trick is to realise we don't all bite and you maybe good looking but you have to build your confidence. Maybe you should try going to a bar and singing karaoke (it doesn't matter if you suck) just do it as a way of building your confidence and putting yourself out there. Go up to a girl and just say hello, give her a smile tell her your name. If she smiles and tells you hers pay her a compliment but try not to be sleazy. Go to places where you may find girls who have things in common with you. But the art of it all is confidence in yourself. Don't be afraid of rejection and don't be too down hearted if you get rejected also if you go out looking for sex 9 out of 10 times you will fail. Girls can smell a desperate man. Good luck!
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