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female
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*uby_candy
writes: My boyfriend’s best friend is also my best friend. But three weeks ago this whole tragedy happened where my boyfriend and I were having problems and my best friend was on break with his girlfriend and having problems of his own and we hung out together. I started to get a crush on him and admitted my feelings so he could tell me that they would go away or reassure me. But he only told me he felt the same way. And so I got confused and almost broke up with my boyfriend. I took some time away from my best friend to fix the problems with my boyfriend whom I love more then life itself. And noticed that my feelings for my best friend are only physical and because he’s a great listener. We all got passed this except my boyfriend. He is insecure whenever we hang out and I told him I would never do anything and my best friend is over these feelings too…my boyfriend won’t let go. He makes me feel guilty whenever me and my best friend hang out together in a public place (not alone, I don’t want my boyfriend to be that jealous) and he gives faces or comments whenever we talk together too long. I don’t know what to do, I can’t lose my best friend and boyfriend. I want my boyfriend to get over this. How can I help him or is there no hope? Did I lose his trust forever?
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 Hi ruby_candy,
If you say your boyfriend and best friend are that close and u feel they wouldnt want to loose each other then perhaps it will be better if you allow them work on their friendship by themselves. You dont have to entirely loose your friendship with your bestfriend but for now u have to place your relationship with your boyfriend first. Infact he should be your best friend now, if he is the one u have chosen.If not you are going to be in a position where u will loose him and perhaps your best friend as well.I have seen friends even families memebers who have been together since childhood break bonds becos of less .allow them work on their friendship themselves if only they want to.once they can do that they perhaps everything will be okay between the three of you.
I really dont know what much to say but i hope i have been of a little help.THis is the best advise i can offer maybe someone else can shed more light which can help the situation.
Take care dear and Goodluck
A
female
reader, ruby_candy +, writes (30 June 2006):
ruby_candy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem is he's also my boyfriend's best friend they've known each other since 2nd grade and not seeing each other would tear my boyfriend apart. I don't think I would be willing to give up my best friend either. I see him as just a friend now and I know I made a mistake but I want to make things right.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (29 June 2006):
It's obvious your boyfriend's confidence in your friendship with your best friend took a huge knock when you both of you had a brief interest with one another. As a result he has become more insecured.who wouldnt be really?
You have to weigh the relationship you have with your boyfriend and if he truly matters to you that much then perhaps it will be best to cut back the relationship you have with your bestfriend.
Take care now and goodluck.
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