A
female
age
30-35,
*iccawitch137
writes:I am a sophomore in college and am currently dating a new guy. We have been together for about two months now but I'm not sure if I still have feelings for my ex.My ex boyfriend and I had a very emotional connection. He was like my best friend and was always there for me when I needed him. Since our break up was mostly because I felt like we would never get anywhere in the relationship because we don't want the same things in the future, I worry that I am still invested in him. We are still friends and some of our mutual friends say that we act similar to how we did when we were dating except we are not physical. My current boyfriend is ok with this friendship and has never acted jealous in any way. I worry though that I am only physically attracted to him. My new guy is much more attractive than my previous boyfriend and I feel more lust with him, but we have different social circles and have to make time for each other. Recently I found out my ex had slept with some random girl and it hurt me deeply. I have concluded that I am hurt that he would act in such a way because he confessed to me that he did not like casual sex. I want to believe that I am over him and am simply hurt at his lost of morals and that there is hope for my current relationship but I can't be sure. What do you think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): Dear Poster
It is possible that you still have feelings for your ex, but that does not mean that there is a future for the two of you. From the information in your posting you did not break up due to not loving each other but rather from having different wants and needs; different future plans and goals; probably not totally compatible.
However, you are doubting your feelings for your new boyfriend; lust versus love; only you will be able to answer that question; BUT I suggest you give yourself and the relationship time; we learn to love somebody with time; it does not happen over night.
As you know:
First there is attraction; then getting to know the person and then with time we develop deeper feelings called "love"
Take it easy on yourself; enjoy your new boyfriend and have FUN.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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