A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why does my partner lie about watching the adult channels? I have been with my partner for 6 years and have been living together for nearly 3 years. On several occasions I have walked into the room and he has quickly changed the channel and when I have confronted him he denies it. I am not talking about anything too extreme, just these girls lying in there underwear talking on the phone making a few gestures. The latest was last week when I saw exactly what he was watching as he didn't realise I was there until I let the door slam he quickly flicked the channel and when I asked him what he was watching he made this random story up, while the colour drained from his face and as he handed me the remote his hand was shaking, I have to say that I have never quite seen him like that before. I dont know why he lies as I feel that I am opened and honest to him about all my sexual fantasies and I am always up and willing for a good time in the bedroom, morning noon and night. I often suggest the 2 of us watching porn together and he laughs it off. I have talked to him so many times over the years and asked him to be honest with me but he will say he doesn't watch them channels. Why cant he speak to me about this?
View related questions:
porn, underwear Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice so far, I dont want to create problems or feel I cant talk to my partner as I love and trust him so much and know I could tell him anything and hopefully one day he will over come his shyness and hopefully we can enter a new world of watching porn together, I would also like to add in response to one of the answers is that I would agree that the reason why he does what he does is probably due to the fact he doesn't want to make me feel like I am not good enough because I know he does.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): No one likes to admit that they watch porn. It's as though getting caught doing that will cause them to lose face or seem barbaric or less intellectual to the other person.
"Why would Bob watch porn on TV when he could be in our bedroom fucking me instead?" "What is wrong with me that he prefers to watch fake sex instead of drilling me?"
It's just a different kind of stimulation. Nothing wrong with that.
You need to sit down one day and start watching porn. You need to show him that you are comfortable with it. If you can muster the confidence, watch a porno movie in the nude and masturbate too. When my b/f walks in on me with vibrator in hand and a nasty porno on the tube he really gets turned on. If you do that it should really break the ice.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): If you don't know why he won't speak to you about it, why would we know?
He obviously is ashamed of watching especially when you are around. He may think it is disrespectful to you, and I think he may be right.
Maybe he is not comfortable watching porn with you, and feels that you need it to get excited, which isn't flattering to his male ego if that is what he is thinking.
This is a couple thing, and if you really think this is such a big deal then keep trying to open a dialogue about it.
Personally, if I were in your shoes I would just ignore his channel surfing and switching it off when you are there, it is his private time viewing and it seems harmless to look at attractive girls on the set, I don't know a man alive who doesn't do that, but to make a big deal out of it or worry about it seems to me to be creating a problem where there is none.
...............................
|
