A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:my husband who is 10 years older than me is watching porn on a daily basis and playing virtual reality porn games,I know because he,s not very clever at deleting his history.He shows no interest in me even though I go out of my way to look nice and am told i look a lot younger than my age. feel very lonely and jealous and feel i can,t compete with these girls hat he is looking at whatever i do. I,m open minded and would be quite happy for him to watch this stuff if i thought it was a means of helping our sex life but thats non existant,i don,t even get any sort of affection from him,no point trying to discuss it with him he denies that he watches it and when i mentioned it before he said it just came up on his history by accident...don,t know what to do
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 September 2017):
My dear...Your husband's penis is yours. Not his...Take it.
Wait for him to be watching porn. Go in the room...check see if he is hard. If yes...take hold of it, and sit on it. Let him watch all the porn he wants while you get to enjoy "Your penis".
Before he got married it was his. After marriage however...
"A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is."
Challenge him to perform some of the same porn moves on you. Ask him to show you a man doing a certain something that you are interested in, and tell him to do it to you, while you watch the porn.
It is yours...take it back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2017): I think you need to sit and have a serious talk regarding your love-life. He already knows how you feel about porn.
I think your needs are really what you need to discuss.
People seem to avoid being direct about explaining what they want and need from their partners. Unfortunately; sometimes the sex-life in a long-existing relationship fizzles; and there are no words to explain why.
He shows no interest in sex and resorts to porn; because he has formed an addiction to it.
You can't compare yourself to women half your age with breast augmentations, butt-implants, liposuction, and wearing a pile of makeup. They make a living having sex in-front of a video camera. They are fantasy creatures, and that's how they earn their money. He can't touch them. All he can do is look. They don't require him to get and maintain an erection, they don't demand affection, or require him to bring them to orgasm. It's his selfish pleasure.
Your husband has given-up on reality and your marriage.
He now finds more pleasure watching videos, and probably pleasuring himself. Don't blame yourself. It's not you. It's him!
He lies about watching it, has no interest in providing you pleasure and affection, and no longer fulfills his duties as a husband.
Is the quality of your marriage good enough to keep it going aside from what you describe in your post? If not, why have you stayed?
You may have to suggest he get therapy for his addiction, or consider a divorce. It seems he has made a choice, and no longer needs a wife. Old habits and old-men are hard to change.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 September 2017):
 If you feel you cannot talk to him and he is continuing to lie to you then maybe you need to show him how serious you are. Instead off bringing up the porn talk about your intimate life. If he cannot talk to you about that then I suggest you go to marriage therapy to try and work through these problems. If he is not willing to try then maybe it is time to show him the door. If he is not showing you any love and attention then you are basically living with a friend.
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