A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey I have a major problem. After our 3rd child I put my self on birth control so I wouldn't end up pregnant again. I've been on it for 9 months now and last month, on October 25th, I was suppose to recieve my period and didn't. On November 1st I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I set up an appointment with my doctor that same day and yesterday at that appointment he comfirmed it. I was on birth control, how could this have happened. I know that it's 99.9% effective, but I never thought that I would be the one out of 1000 that would end up pregnant. I don't believe in abortion, but I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what my options are. I know this baby wasn't planned, and I don't really have too much of a problem having another, but my husband is really stressed out about it. How do I get him to see this situation my way? I don't want to have an abortion and there is no way I'd give up my child for adoption, no matter how hard it is financially to have this child. We are already having trouble financailly, but I'm sure we'll figure out a way to work this out. How do we over come this situation? What should I do? I'm so confused!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): im only 16, im at 6th form and im not pregnant, dont have children or anything like that... but my mum had four children, me the eldest, who at the time was 13, my sister who was 10, my brother who was 9, and my youngest sister who was 7, so we were all quite a small age gap difference, mum and dad said they'd given up havin kids now, they didnt want anymore but then three years ago my mum found out she was pregnant, my dad had been made redunadant and they had no idea how they would bring up another child, mum has always been against abortions no matter what! so although they didnt think they could afford another child, they decided it did deserve a chance, she went for her scan and found out she was actually having twins. it was a MASSIVE shock, mum was kinda gutted, she didnt think she could bring up one more child? how could she bring up two more? mums wage was the only wage that was comin into the house, dad was workin for an agency and kept loosin jobs... but now, 3 years later, theres 6 children, my two baby brothers are now 2, theyre the best little things in the world! wouldnt be without them at all, theyre spoilt little buggers lol but theyre gorgeous! everythings settled, dads back in work, were coping just fine! mums got 6 children now and yeah we dont get as much at christmas, we dont have the huge big pile we used to have, but we apprieciate what we get and i especially now, understand and everything, im workin part time and helping out.. mum says it gets easier, the more children you have the easier it is to handle them.. i think its true, apart from my 13 year old sister, i get on really well with all my siiblinge. give this baby a chance, trust me (i know im a kid, what do i know) but its not as hard as it seems. good luck!!! xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Hi Honey! I know you have stated that you are against both adoption and abortion, but you have also stated that you have three other children. You need to try to take s deep breath have a cup of caffine free tea and take a minute to think about your situation. Realistically you need to consider the costs in addition to your other three children. It may effect how the grow up because finacially it may be difficult to provide money for college and other neccesities. Instead of trying to make your husband see it your way, listen to what he has to say. While it is your body, he is the one who will also help support the child. I am currently pregnant too and rent a house with my boyfriend. I am only a few weeks pregnant. I love kids and want this baby so badly, but in my current situation it is not finacially logical. We both attend college, and work and we still would not make it by with out the help of our parents. We can barely afford to feed ourselves and simply can't have a baby in this stage of our lives. What has helped me to get through this is thinking about the baby and what its life would be like, and also thinking about its future. The reality is without good jobs we wouldnt be able to provide for it and while I love it very much I also have to do whats right for it, whether its abortion or adoption. The best of luck to you! Your husband may want to consider a vasectimy. I hope everything works out for you! Try to work it out togther! ^_^ good luck sweetie.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 And what if after having this child you will get pregnant again and again? What will you do then?
I am not sure as to what else you can do about your pregnancy. Adoption sounds much worse to me than abortion. Yes, abortion is murder. So is eating meat. Giving the child away for adoption, what if his/her life wouldnt turn out so good? He will be constantly asking himself why did mommy decide to give him away.
Maybe you should consider other methods of contraception - vasectomy for your husband for example if you get pregnant so easily?
Best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Sounds like you have already made a decision honey. It's your husband that needs some guidance here.
You already have three beautiful little ones and now you've got one more on the way. I don't believe that after having three kids, all of which I'm sure he adores, he will be prepared to abort or put up for adoption another of his children.
This baby didn't ask to exist, however it fought through so many barriers to do so, i do believe this is bordering on a miracle. I'm by no means a religious person, but I do believe that some things are meant to be.
I guess what I'm saying is don't let your husband's reluctance to have another child force you into doing something you will regret. This baby doesn't deserve to be aborted or given up, it's brothers or sisters weren't, it deserves the chance to be something too. It might be a struggle but it will be worth it, as I'm sure you already know.
I hope you make the right decision. Good luck.
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