A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I like things that are kinky. The only issue is that sometimes things get out of hand (I don't mind, that's okay) and I'm beginning to worry that someone will see bruises or something and think that I'm getting abused or beaten. I bruise easily and I'm rather clumsy at times so it isn't uncommon for me to be marked in some way. I'm just afraid that people will see and ask questions. People have before but I can't use the "I fell down" excuse all the time. Worse-my parents might notice. How do I answer these questions? And what do I do about clothing? I can't always walk around in long sleeves and jeans, even though it's winter. Any help is appreciated! Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): You need to be upfront with people like the woman in the gym. If you say "Thanks for being concerned. I expect you to keep this a secret, and I hope it doesn't change things between us, but it is best I be honest since you are so concerned, and let you know I like it rough in bed. I hope you are not embarrassed by that. If I ever really do have a domestic violence issue than I will tell you."
Doing this is a lot less embarrassing than coming across someone who faces a mandatory reporting obligation, who hears a lack of explanation, who does their duty, you being interviewed by someone in authority, and you explaining that you like rough sexplay.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Whether my parents do or not bruise easily is irrelevant; I'm adopted so idk if my biological family does or not. We can be very sweet with each other. I don't mind sweet, neither does he, but we both aren't the kind of people who like it all the time. It was a mutual decision. We discussed it and it isn't abuse. It's only our In our sex life, we don't do anything outside of that.
After I posted this I went to the gym and a person in he locker room asked me if I was okay. I replied that I was fine, but she insisted on asking me what had happened. I didn't have huge bruises or anything so I brushed her aside and went to go work out. When I came back to shower and change she was there and told me that if something was wrong, I should tell someone. How do I respond to that?
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (25 December 2010):
I would just come out with the truth and if people ask say you like kinky sex and you bruise easily but highlight they're not all from sex: "Oh this one's from (clumsy incident).
Bet they won't ask you again.
Obviously I wouldn't say the same to your parents though. Did you bruise easily as a child, do your parents bruise easily? If so, it will be easier to convince them it is just down to clumsiness
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