A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some answers. There is this guy, as there always is. He gazes and stares at me from afar and upclose and gives me undivided attention, like i'm the only one he sees. It is obvious he feels something for me. But here's where the problem starts.Sometimes and suddenly, unprovoked, he completely ignores my presence. I will catch his eye still but up close he acts oblivious to me. I'll give you an exmaple.The other night, we were at a social gathering and he was nice to everyone there. He was talking with them and being really friendly then when he saw I was there he looked at me with no smile and never said hello, or goodbye and whenever he spoke to someone and I tried to add something he ignored me. He didn't look at me directly but I can't be sure he wasn't watching me because I looked around only to see him standing a few feet from me. It was like he hated me. I don't understand what I did wrong? Perhaps I should add that he is a priest. Don't be so quick to judge please. I'm only young but I'm not blind, I know what I see when he looks at me. That's how I came to the conclusion he felt the same and also why would he treat me so differently? He addressed me once and I smiled but he never reciprocated. I've never felt so unwanted by someone before. I don't know if they learn this sort of thing in the seminary? How to detach themselves? Don't let the fact that he is a priest affect your answer. If this was any other guy, what would you think? I mean, afterall, they're only men. I wasn't expecting this to be so long. I'm just offended and hurt at his ignorance. I'd never come onto him or anything. I admire him and have a respect for him. Thank you and I hope I'll get some understanding responses. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): Thanks for your answers. He has done this before, on and off. He did it again today. I honestly don't know what I've done to offend him. I'm not overreacting either. Anyway thank you. I guess I'll never know.
A
male
reader, HeartBlossom  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Well, let's suppose you're 100% correct. A reasonable explanation for his behavior would be that, although he may secretly think you're interesting to look at, he has no wish whatsoever to encourage an actual relationship or to give others the impression that he favors you in any way, both of which could be extremely damaging to his life choice and the respect he gets from others. And the fact that you're curious about this suggests he's right to be discouraging. Incidentally, I'm not entirely persuaded you're seeing the same things others would see. We naturally see the world from a point of view that makes it seems like we are the focus of others' attention, when we usually aren't. And I've known girls who thought a little too often about young priests, because they seemed safe to contemplate and interesting thanks to their unattainability.But if you are right, then I'm a little offended on your behalf. Someone with his experience and role in the community should have more restraint than to send you mixed signals like this. It's true priests are just men and can't help observing beauty when it's in front of them, but it's his duty to understand you first of all as who you are inside--someone more or less the same as everyone else--and as someone he needs to shelter from skin-deep judgments and confusing situations.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (25 March 2011):
I think he may like you, but can't strike up a conversation. I think you're over reacting to that outting.
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