A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My friends think I'm crazy. I'm obsessed with a guy from school I used to hook up and have casual sex with and I just can't get over him. My friends are trying to put me off him in any way they can but it just doesn't work - my friend caught him grossly picking his nose in the computer lab the other day and told me - my response was actually "how cute". the feelings just get slushier and slushier and this is not good. I've even claimed I "loved" him to my friends - when I don't even talk to him!! I'm too shy to even say hi to him and definitely won't call him. What the hell is wrong with me????? What will make me get over him???????????????????????????????????
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, coldhearted  +, writes (24 October 2009):
In my experience you should just let him go.You have to avoid him completely, get him out of your life. This will help u heal oir get over the obsession. It will be hard at first than you will just be back to your old self. But as a warning if you bother with him then the obsession wont go away. It will drive you nuts. Just take a break and evaluate what you really want in the future. Just try to focus on yourself. Just think if he really wanted to be with you he would of indicated it by telling you, not like you would think such as if hes around you or he just pays attention to you if he wants booty for the night. He would of pursued you in the beginning. Just let him go its not worth it. Believe me I know it hurts a lot especially if you are in love with them. You somehow have to fall out of love with them by avoiding them completetly no phone or computers, no contacting them whatsever. If u do you are just dilouting yourself into thinking you can have a future with him but deep down you know you cant.Just dont want him it weill be much easier if you forget about him and move on with your life. Think of him as a lesson you had to learn or as your past. And in the future he doesnt exist, you will be on top of the world.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): I now what you mean, except im in college and I have an obsession wth this guy who I hooked up with for casual intimacy. It lasted about a week and then he broke it off from continuing. I feel mad, vengeful, very sad, and kinda hurt about it, even though going in we agreed it was no strings attached. He's obviously not interested in me at all anymore. I'm trying to get over it...unfortunately i see him often enough because we work together too...i guess it'll just take time and for me to keep him far from my thoughts and learn from my mistakes...Good luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, ananonymous123456789 +, writes (10 August 2008):
Read this book it's amazing i swear
http://www.amazon.com/Honest-Youre-Not-That-Into-Either/dp/0060817402
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): I know what's wrong with you, hun. You put your heart in a very precarious situation. You had casual sex with a young man, thinking you could exit the relationship easily when interest waned. But sadly, you gave him your intimate self as a piece of your heart. Therefore, you still have this strong emotional allegiance to this guy. Sweety, some of us cannot have casual sex with guys, without getting emotionally involved. A lot of us are not equipped to just forget and jump relationships that easily.
No strings casual sex is just that – it basically means no commitment, on his part. That is the way he wanted this to be. Sorry to say this hun, but this boy likely had nothing but a sexual interest in you. What I can’t comprehend is why you are obssessed and desperate over a guy you were involved with in simple casual sexual encounters. Sweety, it appears you have made a big mistake...you thought sex with this guy equalled affection and love. And we know when it comes to boys, having sex with them doesn't mean he has affection for you. If he did, he'd be by your side. So how do you stop thinking this way. Just realize that you were used as a sperm depository for his urges and that is all. Harsh? Yes, but necessary in order for you to accept. Please work this through and try hard to move on and remember one important value..."Sharing your body is an intimate and private moment reserved for the, the person who only accepts and loves all of you." Good luck, dear
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): I know what's wrong with you, hun. You put your heart in a very precarious situation. You had casual sex with a young man, thinking you could exit the relationship easily when interest waned. But sadly, you gave him your intimate self as a piece of your heart. Therefore, you still have this strong emotional allegiance to this guy. Sweety, some of us cannot have casual sex with guys, without getting emotionally involved. A lot of us are not equipped to just forget and jump relationships that easily.
No strings casual sex is just that – it basically means no commitment, on his part. That is the way he wanted this to be. Sorry to say this hun, but this boy likely had nothing but a sexual interest in you. What I can’t comprehend is why you are obssessed and desperate over a guy you were involved with in simple casual sexual encounters. Sweety, it appears you have made a big mistake...you thought sex with this guy equalled affection and love. And we know when it comes to boys, having sex with them doesn't mean he has affection for you. If he did, he'd be by your side. So how do you stop thinking this way. Just realize that you were used as a sperm depository for his urges and that is all. Harsh? Yes, but necessary to tell you, in order for you to accept that it's time to go forward. Please work this through and remember one important value..."Sharing your body is an intimate and private moment reserved for the person who only accepts and loves all of you." Good luck, dear and be more selective and please value and respect yourself much more, in the future.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): Your thinking into this way to much. You don't love him at all, your just telling yourself you do. Believe it or not, the body has a natural instinct to enjoy loving someone, so the more you obsess over this guy, the more comphortable your feelings will get and the harder it will be to get over him. Obsession is the worst, everyone gets it at some stages. It will be hard but all you can do is give it time. Some things will help such as stop gossiping with your friends about him, allways make him the last thing on your mind and soon you will naturally not think about him. Two try and get to know him, the chances are you wont like his personality, or if you do, you may become friends and you will see him differently. Or perhaps he will learn to like you. But i'm telling you now, i have not once heard of a relationship that has started after one person being obessed with the other. Get over him, bite the bullet and really think about whats best for you.
...............................
|
