A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm having trouble getting wet with my bf. We pretty much have to use lube every time we have sex. We've been together for a year and before him I've never had to do that. I can't say that I get super wet anyway (for instance, i hear that some women get so wet than the guy can just slide in all the way immediately and for me this was never possible) so I think that I'm on the low on wetness to begin with but It's always been "enough" for the guy to get gradually inside by going in and out little by little. With him, it's not even happening even after he goes down on me and I climax. Is it possible that my wetness is just more in the inside and it needs to be brought outside by the guy's penis or finger? Could it be anatomy related? I wish I was wetter and he could just slide in because i thinks he equals it to me not being turned on. To the guys reading this, when ou have sex with your girl, cn you usually slide in directly? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2012):
 most of the time i need lube... in fact, when I don't I'm shocked.
it's actually always been this way for me...
just because you are not well lubricated does not mean you are not turned on... antihistamines or other meds can limit your bodily fluids...
sometimes you are wet inside but it's not on the outside so a bit of foreplay can bring it outside....
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 You're probably now so focused on this as a problem that you are having trouble relaxing and just letting go and enjoying the sex.
Some women do not produce a great deal of lubrication. Maybe your glands aren't as cooperative or as present as you might like. Does your gyno detect any issue in your exams?
I think you do need to discuss this, calmly and lovingly, outside of the bedroom. "Hey babe, you know there's something that I need to tell you. Um, it's really embarrassing and I just want you to listen without comment for now. You know how I don't get very wet? Well, I just want you to know that I am totally turned on and I love what you do to me and I can't get enough of you. It seems that I am one of those women who don't produce a lot of natural wetness and it has nothing to do with you or how great you are in bed--which you are, you are so HOT and I LOVE what you do--so I wish I was could be wetter and it all glides right in and all but there you have it, I am not that blessed. The thing is that I don't produce a whole lot of natural lubrication and we'll just have to figure out a way to make things work. I am crazy about you and now I want to crawl away and hide because I am so embarrassed that I had to have this talk but I want this all to work so I worked up the nerve to talk about it."
I think he'll be so impressed and appreciative that you have the nerve to discuss it with him that he'll overlook this as something that's your fault. He'll be too blown away at how brave you are and how much you want to please him.
Be brave, woman up, you are normal and you have the same issue many women experience. http://women.webmd.com/features/when-desire-dies-bringing-your-sex-drive-back-life
There's no point in comparing yourself to other women, really, is there? Because some women produce too much natural lubrication and write in here asking how to minimize that and others have other issues. The point is that you have your own personal concern and I think you would be best served by being honest and loving with your guy and not worry too much about what other women experience, as it's not really going to help you all that much.
What may help is having a chat with your doctor.... be brave, do that too. In fact, maybe do that first, as a matter of some urgency, so you can then share what you learn with your boyfriend.
Be well, you sound perfectly normal to me.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (17 July 2012):
No. All women are different. And i think a lot of men's parts can be different as well, where both men or women's part can be wetter or dryer (as some men can precum a lot). It all depends on the person. Don't feel bad for that. Just be thankful that there is such a thing as lube.
Who knows, maybe as you grew older your body gets less wet now. Or maybe this new bf is big or is rly dry as well. It doens't matter as long as you have a solution!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): I am recently married--since we waited to have sex until marriage I do not necessarily have a lot of experience in this department. But nonetheless, lube has so far been necessary for each sexual encounter. Perhaps that will change, but only time will tell.
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