A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i need some advice... ive been with my boyfriend for 10 months and we are living with each other now. one problenm - hes friends with his ex.. well not really an ex, a girl he used to love but she had a boyfriend already while he was "friends" with her. they used to work together years ago and became friends, they became more but she had a boyfriend and would choose him all the time but he still hung around like a puppy.We were friends for a while before we got together but the reason we didnt get together beforehand is he didnt want me hurt. she created a lot of crap and didnt like that we were in contact. After few months she ended up with someone else and he then lost feelings for her. After that we got togehter.Now she was off the scene for a little while then text him once a week and i didnt like it. Every time it was brought up he would get frustrated at me saying that he doesnt have feelings for her. His family and friends cant stand her or the crap she put him through but i dont understand why he wants to be friends with her. I decided to bury the hatchet and just deal with it. she even told me that shes happy for us and she has no feelings for him but just friends. I know he doesnt have feelings but now since "im ok" with it she texts him at least couple times every second day or calls him. Its starting to irritate me... but sometimes i try to tell him how i feel and then it turns into a fight. He shows me the texts and that but im not sure on her intentions. Please help cuz im sick and tired of feeling this way.
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 I can understand how you may feel- after knowing his history with the other girl, and viewing the texts. But if you're going to be in a successful relationship, you have to learn to trust your partner a bit more.
He did show you the texts, and the other girl did tell you that she doesn't view him as more than a friend. And even if her intentions are to get with him, the question really boils down to how much trust you have in your boyfriend. If he has shown that he's a trustworthy person and he's respecting your relationship with him, then don't worry so much about this situation. Believe me, he's well aware of how you feel about his friendship with the other girl.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 I guess this is where trust comes in to it. I can totally understand why this would make you feel uncomfortable. He tried to get with this girl for a long time, so yes it is normal for you to worry now about why she contacts him so much. I guess if you really trust him you should try and forget about this and not let it come in between the both of you. Good luck.
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