A
male
age
30-35,
*alo1212
writes:I need help but I'm not sure what my question is, I am sorry for the length of this but any help for my situation would be greatly appreciated .Okay to start with I hang out with a fairly large group of friends, a few girls and the rest guys, but with one of the girls we have a weird relationship, we have fun in our group and she has a boyfriend and he's alright, but when we're alone we flirt with each other a lot, we've kissed a few times but only when she was single and we were both drunk, all harmless fun, however I am attracted to her, but I know she flirts with some of the other guys as well but not as much as she does with me, but when she does it really hurts to see her doing it or even hear about it, I have come to terms with the fact that I like her and she knows how I feel about her but we both still just laugh at the fact that I like her and she knows it(strange I know), the problem is I think I know why it hurts, I don't think its her I like, just the fact that someone is flirting with me, the fact that a girl likes me, i haven't had a relationship or anything close to that in two years, and when she flirts with me it makes me so happy and wanted but when she flirts with the others it makes me feel like i'm nothing special just another guy and she has no feelings for me at all, which would mean no one does, and that depresses me to not want to hang around with anyone, and I think my group are starting to notice, and i'm getting a bit paranoid that they are all talking about it behind my back with makes me worse.What should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): Okey first of, breath, big deep breath's ... In then out ... Breathing is good it lets oxygen flow to your brain and you can think more clearly..Secondly .. Mixed Groups are great to hang around in, but should not be a male main stay when out looking for a potential date.. But before we elaborate on that lets look at the girl you mention...To start with she has a boyfriend so really she a big 'no no ' do not wait in the wings hoping if this relationship fails, then you and she have a chance as this wont happen . You will only become her back up plan, and will end up more hurt.Flirting for girls... Girls flirt as it allows them to see how much power 'sexually ' they have on the opposite sex.. It is also a good moral booster and makes us feel good. Flirting is often done when younger with men whom we find easy to be around, who are non threatening . Hence little ms flirty pants trying it on with the majority of the guys in the group, she is enhancing her skills for future relationshipsNow that doesn't mean she doesn't like you, but certainly she doesn't like you like you !! Or she would be with you and not her current bf.Instead of always meeting up with the group, can you and another buddy not go somewhere else for a change, fishing in fresh water as the saying goes... I mean a new face in new scenery maybe all that's need here..Make a point of catching a girls eye, if only to smile brightly and say good morning/afternoon/evening no matter there age.. The emphasis here is to get you comfortable with interacting with females .. So that when you are out in a pub/club that your skills are innate, you don't think about how do I go up and smile and say hello ... You just do it!! Girls don't want to hear corny chat up lines, they just want someone confident with it a bit of wit lol who will make them feel specialSo stop fixating on this girl.. Fill your life with things otherthan the group.And try the above see how it works for you.. Take care x
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