A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am married; we seperated for about 4 months and I went back with him because I wanted my kids to be with there father. I am 19 yrs old with 2 lil girls I mean my husband isn’t a bad person he just is very jealous. He don’t want me to have any friends and he doesnt trust me. We have been together for about 5 years and I feel really confused because the real truth is I don’t know if I am in love with him or do I just care about him because he is the father of my kids. I really don’t feel happy I need help I don’t know what to do. What do you think about it?
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female
reader, asoau +, writes (27 April 2009):
 I think that where you are is a rough place. Because you love your children and you want to see them happy so youre going to do anything to make them happy. Possibly even sacrafice your own happiness for them.
I think (even though it sounds cliche) you should try to have an adult conversation with the man. Tell him how your feeling and ask him not to yell at you or get defensive. Let him know where you are, and if he goes with that without pitching a fit, try to bring to his attention some concerns you may have for your relationship. Like for instance: you dont like it when he behaves in a jealous manner... or you would like to be able to have some friends too.
it may sound redundant but open communication is the most important part of a healthy relationship.
If at any point during the talk he displays an attitude like he doesnt care what you are saying and hes not going to try to compromise, then at least he will give you a reason not to love him
Best of luck!!
A
female
reader, asoau +, writes (27 April 2009):
I think that where you are is a rough place. Because you love your children and you want to see them happy so youre going to do anything to make them happy. Possibly even sacrafice your own happiness for them.
I think (even though it sounds cliche) you should try to have an adult conversation with the man. Tell him how your feeling and ask him not to yell at you or get defensive. Let him know where you are, and if he goes with that without pitching a fit, try to bring to his attention some concerns you may have for your relationship. Like for instance: you dont like it when he behaves in a jealous manner... or you would like to be able to have some friends too.
it may sound redundant but open communication is the most important part of a healthy relationship.
If at any point during the talk he displays an attitude like he doesnt care what you are saying and hes not going to try to compromise, then at least he will give you a reason not to love him
Best of luck!!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (27 April 2009):
 It is confusing, isn't it? Cos on the one hand, it is like oh this person must really care about me if they are always so jealous, etc., but on the other hand, it is annoying and it's like man I wish this person would just back off.
You could get counseling, or just go through with the separation and divorce. Counseling is great and everything, but don't expect a change overnight, or for him necessarily to change. Some people never do.
I can't believe I am saying this, but life experiences can mold people into who they are today, which makes it harder for them to change. If he has a negative view of women, chances are, things in his past that happened to him might have molded him this way.
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