A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have recently run into a group of old friends from high school and started hanging out with them occasionally. The problem is, one of these guys is a former boyfriend of my wife. I'm not really comfortable with hanging out with someone my wife had sex with prior to me, but what makes its even more uncomfortable is that sometimes this group starts talking about old times and I'm not from the same area of town and from a different school. They sometimes talk about 'remember so-and-so's party', didn't you hook up with so-and-so that night? I'm not sure how to react, we have fun with these old friends of my wife, but sometimes it gets a little too intimate for my comfort. I mean I know my wife wasn't a virgin when we met, but talking about who did who is bothering me. Stop hanging out with these people? Tell my wife not to participate in any talk about sex past? Or just be a party guy and let everyone talk about what my wife did with whom before me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Everyone has a past history and thats where it belongs - in the past!!
I'm sure your wife wouldn't like it if your friends started talking about your past hisory either. You should just say to your wife how you feel and see what she has to say.
Its fine to talk about those things when you are on your own but not in a group like that. My boyf and I have talked about our past history and thats fine cos we both wanted to and we were fine with that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): My wife and I have read this and both agree with what Samutsen and baby duck have said. My wife agrees that it is up to your wife to say something to stop this insensitive talk. My wife and I have talked about our past lovers and that is fine because we both want to do it, but I think that I would also be hurt to hear others talk about what she had done with other men, especially if one or more of them is around. I don't mind hearing it from her if I ask.
You really need to discuss this with her. I hope she understands that this talk is inappropriate and you can solve this problem.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 As a proud decent man you have a right to be bothered this disrespectful, childish, insensitive people around you. Also shame on your wife for not giving due consideration to your feelings.
Anyways, you have got stop socializing with them. You don't have to go through tormenting your self just to let the others fun and to be easy going. My honor and dignity as a man is the most important asset to me and to you.
When you stop seeing them may be they will realize for dick head they have been and start behaving lie mature adults!!!
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