A
female
age
36-40,
*lacknBeautiful
writes:I have been single from a very messy relationship with the guy that I lost my virginity to when I was 17. I went through alot with him cheating lies and even some domestic violence. I am through with him all together and beleive me I am not looking back. We have been over for about 6 months now and Ive always gotten my share of guys trying to talk to me and take me out. I just havent meet any guys that honestly interest me or are even worth my time. I just started a new job and a guy that I dont directly work with has been flirting wiht me and asked me out for dinner. Since I have honestly been lonely I accepted the offer and went we had a great time talked and laughed and talked about goals. It went so well that he asked me to join him later in the week and I did and dinner was the same way. My biggest concern is that Im not attracted to him in no way and I feel like he is gaining those romantic feelings for me. I am also becoming used to his test messages and how he always keeps his word. A girl could come to appreciate those types of things. Since Im not used to dating anyone close to deserving me how do I play this out? Thanks xoxo
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female
reader, katiekate +, writes (12 August 2012):
 It sounds like you are not ready for a mature relationship and that you prefer drama. This guy is sweet, attentive, reliable, but you are more concerned about the way he looks. If looks are that important to you, do everyone a favor and end it with him before you waste more of his time. Let him find a woman who will appreciate him and find him attractive, a woman who deserves a nice guy instead of a jerk. He deserves a woman who will see him as her priority, not simply an option until she finds someone "better".
You are still fairly young and maybe you just haven't really learned what real relationships are all about yet. But just because you are naive or don't have your priorities straight, don't drag this guy along while you figure it out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): "Since Im not used to dating anyone close to deserving me how do I play this out?"Really? No offense OP, but I'm just a little stunned; you've dated losers since you were sexually active, then a nice guy comes along and you say he doesn't deserve you? Part of me wants to persuade you to give this guy a chance, but honestly I think it's him that deserves better. If you're not attracted to him and you can't appreciate all his good qualities (especially after what you've been through) then I think you should let him know nothing will ever happen and let him find a woman who has her priorities straight. If you are suffering from delusions of grandeur in reaction to some of the awful men you've known in the past, I would seek counseling.
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