A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I'm just a bit worried. I'm not really a people person. I like my own space and I'm quite shy. I'm living with 4 girls in September and am dreading it so much because I'm rubbish at talking to people and am quite messy etc!!! They might hate me,plus they are all quite clicky already while I don't know them that well. Any advice to make it easier for me would be greatly appreciated thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): A problem is only a problem when it depends on you and you don't want to change it, I'd say. But you're looking for advice to make it easier, so it's half solved. Being messy can be remediated. When my room was unarranged and didn't have time to clean up I used to migrate" " to other rooms to feel I was working with more efficiency. I'm sure it's harder to work when the room is untidy, it's a different atmosphere when everything's at its place. That's not really a problem. Shyness is, when it impedes you from socialising. Don't panick with the news of your roommates, think instead this will be a rehearsal for the outside-of-the-appartment-world. You'll practise with them! All you should do firstly is not appear to be very different, because people are afraid of the different, and engage in their conversations, with your opinions, fear apart they won't agree with it. If you look around, the most successful in a group are the people very easy-going, no inhibitions, very confident, sometimes sneaking a lie if the lie makes them appear more "fabulous." No, you don't have to be all that, just borrow some doses of that confidence and learn to appreciate yourself... Conversations can start with "How was your day at work" and can end with your lending an ear to your roomate while she tells you what made her day good or bad. You can of course do the same. A confident approach would be instead of "Will they like me?" - "Will I like them?" - We have expectatives, in exploring the new, we have prejudices. The purpose is to identify them, see how they correspond, and create an adequate opinion. You can expect understanding and kind roommates - most people try and anticipate things, by imagining. If at least one roomate out of four will be close to that, you will have won. We can't though expect to get along very well with everyone, so don't enter this contract" " with such thought. Instead be determined to do your best to make things work, it's all that matters. They'll have to participate, because it can't be done by yourself. You can be the one with initiatives, firstly with presenting the house, then with going to a movie together or cooking a special item. Think it will be ok, and work at what you think needs polishing. Good luck there...
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