A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 22yrs in a relationship with a boy, who is ready to do anything for me and keep telling me he has gotten to his last bustop. He those ask me for sex But he is not pressuring me to give him my virginity and I'm scared of losing him because he keeps saying Itz not easy for him not to have sex because he has been having sex before he met me and him controlling himself when he is around me. I don't want to loose him, I don't want him and I'm not ready for sex not until I'm sure he is truly the one for me. What should I do
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit +, writes (19 October 2015):
You've made a wonderful decision! :) Hon, he is pressuring you...pressure comes in all forms and constantly asking you and telling you it's not easy is pressure cause you then feel guilty for depriving him of something he's been "having before" and think he'll leave you for that reason. It's not just "sex." If it were so simple, we would consider it in the same league as blowing our noses. But we don't. Sex in my humble opinion is a spiritual experience, it is the body's physical expression of feelings like: selflessness, joy, and of course, love. When you're with the right partner, it's an incredible feeling, you're comfortable, you're happy-you trust him and so you have little doubt. Sex brings along all sorts of things like a baby for one and it's good that should it happen, you're with the right partner. So please, keep your mind on your goal to be with the right man for sex. You won't regret it! You deserve to be cherished, to have the man who will wait and be just as excited in looking forward for that special moment when it comes. If he keeps pressuring you, disengage. Keep strong, hon! You are empowered.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (19 October 2015):
You are wise beyond your years. Good on you for waiting for your life partner before giving up what you can only give once. Just tell the guy he's not the one. Proud of you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 October 2015):
He IS pressuring to have sex, if you have told him you aren't ready and HE keeps bringing up - THAT IS pressure. He is NOT respecting that YOU are not ready.
If SEX is more important to him than MAKING sure you are ready, then LET HIM GO! There should be no need to have sex to KEEP a BF. Not if you are NOT ready.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (18 October 2015):
Don't ever have sex with anyone just because they demand sex out of you. Same with this guy. If you don't wish to have sex with him, for whatever reason, then don't have sex. Be sure you stay with your feelings and don't ever feel that you should have sex so that the other guy, and not you, feels good about it. Sex is about you you, as much as it is about him, and sex is not a good thing whenever it is about just one.
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