A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need to ask is the story I'm about to give sound sad?I used to get bullied badly at school and was too scared to tell the teachers AGAIN as the bullying got worse. Although thats over now, since then and after my girlfriend broke up with me after she used me (March time) I haven't felt happy since. Since then I walk on my own asking myself what I've done wrong because even when I attempt things on my own or people depend on me it's always a disaster.So apart from that can anyone tell me how I a 19 year old boy can be truly happy?
View related questions:
broke up, bullied Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): im right there with you buddy... i was bullied by a girl who used to make me cry every night when i got home. id tell my mom, and she'd call the school and then finally it got so bad i switched schools. when i decided to go back the following year that same girl was no where to be found. apparently she had moved about a month after i did and no one knew why. to this day i still have no idea why she picked on me, because its not that im ugly, or i have some great life but i think it was all that she hated everything i had. including me. so now im suffering from truly finding someone or something to make me happy after having recently broke up with who i thought was the love of my life. theres always someone new. you could move start your life over, and truly find the love of your life. always be happy with you, and have confidence. have faith in what god has in store for you. if you truly want top be happy god is your answer. look to him, he will tell you all you will ever want to know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): I can sympathise with you I was severely bullied at primary school and I was too scared to tell the teachers too as some of the Bullying took the form of mild sexual abuse.
I can see that you would feel down on yourself about this as I did, but the sad thing is that even though the bullying has long stopped you have carried on feeling sad.
Some people deal with problems differrent to others and some people are naturally stronger than others too.
I really dont think that you let people down who depend on you and I'm sure that not everything you attempt on your own goes wrong.
Its hard for you to understand this but if you look at the world through rose tinted glasses when things go wrong its a massive shock to you, but also when you look at the world thorugh sad eyes expecting everything to go wrong it usually does!.
I'm sorry to say this but you only get out of this world what you put in, in other words if you expect all you do to go wrong or bad things to happen then they will.
I know you find it hard to see the lighter side of life but I can garruntee you good things have happened to you, just sit down and think of all the good things that have haappend over teh years and concentrate on those things.
I would also suggest that you maybe see a councellor, if you talk to your doctor about how you feel then they will reffer you to a good one.
this thing to remember is that you are not alone in how you feel, and sadly there are people out there who have experienced alot worse that you. bad thigns happen to people all the time, but the main thing is how you deal with them that makes teh difference in your life.
Get some help and stop beating yourself up.
XX
...............................
A
female
reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (31 October 2006):
You've got to have faith in you're self, everyone makes mestakes,even me i thought i was in love with this guy and he used me i was to stupid to know he was using me, you will find love again you're still young, and you can meet new friends by joining a club. Love is every where just be patient.
...............................
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (30 October 2006):
 You know high school is not the world and neither is the town you live in. But for many young people....other peoples opinion Becomes who they are. If others see you as a clown...you live up to it. If you get a reputation as a trouble maker....you seem to attract trouble.
In your case....you had the reputation of weak. You project that reputation and feed the animals need to be assertive, aggressive and powerful. You are low man on the totem pole and you are miserable....which KEEPS you low man on the totem pole. In other words...You own as much to do with how your perceived as anyone else around you doing the perceiving.
You Believe you are not dependable....So your not.
You Believe you are going to be picked on....so you are.
You Believe you are miserable and may not be happy...so your not.
It is harder to change what you believe.....than is is to change the view of others.
But, it can be done.
I wonder what your favorite thing to do is. If it happens to be Television or computer or video games....that explains why you don't socialise well....leaving you feeling isolated....because you have in effect isolated yourself. Isolation can be nearly an addiction....if we don't go out and just stay home and hide....They can't hurt us. TV accepts us. Internet lets us talk to someone without emotional involvement....video games let us fantasize about being someone else in another time and place where WE don't actually exist. They are a comfort to those who feel lonely. But, they can become a never-ending circle.
Can you be happy. Probably if your willing to put forth the effort. Will you be? Do you want to be?
That is a toss up. There are people who have the most tragic horrible lives who look back and say they would not change a thing....they are happy. Others manage to be mournful and stupidly self-destructive and miserable while living lives of wealth and glamour. You can be just as happy in a palace as in a paupers hut...or just as miserable. It is what you believe that becomes what you are.
what do you have going for you.
Youth....19 is a baby...and you still call yourself a boy....though many are old at that age.
You said you walk on your own. Well your able bodied...and your free to do what you want. No responsibilities but yourself.
Some Chicky broke up with you......Hey you must not be tooo ugly....ya had a Chicky in the first place....next one may have already appeared if you were not playing woe is me on the bag-pipes.
You have not been happy since....Hmmmmmmmmmmm....was SHE into VOODOO....she must have been really powerful to Use someone as smart as you and have YOU feel sad that she Left you.......If she used you.....aren't you pretty lucky she dumped you...thank your lucky stars you didn't marry the witch.....THen figure out that her broom collection was not negotiable.
What you have done wrong......Honey....moping around thinking your a victim all the time IS what you have done wrong.
What great sacrifice or altruistic work have you attempted purely for the happiness of someone else? Do you read to the elderly, volunteer with a fire department, give your time to handicapped children? If mostly you sit around feeling sorry for yourself......you have become your own hobby. Do something FOR someone else....Expecting NO reward. See how many people you can be kind too in a day....I mean really going out of your way...not just opening a door for a 99 year old lady cause you were on your way out anyway. Take a wino bum out for a really good meal....not just handing him a little coin...ask him about himself...and listen.
Do you play an instrument, speak a foreign language, draw, or even carve wooden elephants...anything your good at?.....take your talent and GIVE it to people. You may be shocked at how good you feel by accomplishing something.
Stop being a 19 year old boy. work on yourself....change anything you want....but don't wait on others to expect something of you. Make a list of all the great things you would love to be or do....astronaut, spy, rock star, husband, father, teacher, gardener, dog trainer, sky diver, pianist, writer, chef, builder, etc.
then any that are simply silly...cross out. Unless you have a degree in aerospace engineering and the physical capabilities of Atlas....you could probably eliminate astronaut. Then keep eliminating until you can find some thing that you could focus on. list all the steps it would take you to DO that.....and complete the first one. One step at a time...you will reach your goal. And having goals....give you a sense of future which can help you on the happy scale.
I hope this helps. let us know.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): Hi im 19 too so I can probably relate to you. Have been in similar situation - but I have got happier over time - go out and spoil yourself - spend loadsa time with mates. You need to have confidence in yourself - don't worry about what others think of or say about you.
People wont feel comfortable talking to you if you always look miserable. You need to try and be positive. You say everything seems like a disaster when you do things on your own and people depend on you - if you had more confidence in yourself - it would all be ok.
I know its difficult but the only way you'll be happy is if you have confidence in yourself.
You can talk to me anytime - my username on here is lush123.
...............................
|
