A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry in advance if this is too long.I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talking on. A few months ago however he has been talking to me more and more, which is why I say we've become friends/pen pals.At first I just thought he was being just friendly, but another friend of mine (real life one who is male) said that this guy probably likes me. I denied it of course, until a few moments ago (which got me to thinking) if he does like me as more than a friend. (Not going to go into details about our convo)but the thing he said to make me wonder is this "I wouldn't cross that line unless you erased it"My question is what do you all think does he like me or was he joking, cause our convos are usually us joking around about different topics and such so i'm unsure of what to make of things. And if he does like me then i'm going to have to go the no contact route because I only like him has just a friend I wouldn't want to lead him on in any way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOdd....
I think this thing sort itself out..... MAYBES. After months of him steady messaging me and such has stopped, there has maybe been 2 very short convos since july 6th. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing and that maybe i had this all wrong that maybe he does in fact only like me has just a friend despite it pointing out hat it may like me as more.
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 Hi
You can tell us, just astrix out the really bad bits, might be able to judge the situation better then. Besides which im nosey LOL
If he came on to you or made suggestive comments or made it obvious he really likes you then maybe best to explain to him that you don't feel the same way and feel its best to end the communication. He obviously wont like that too much but its the best thing to do.
In future its probably best to be wary of forming friendships with men you meet online or via social media as they are usually looking for sex or relationships. Obviously if you know them first in the real world, thats different, but random guys off facebook I would be wary.
Mark
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes it does help and a sentence he said last night made it quite clear he likes me. I can't say the sentence here cause it has a curse word in it and more than likely the website won't approve the comment.
So thank you for your reply and advice.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (6 July 2014):
Hi
Thanks for the follow up. Yes it makes sense. His quote about the line in the sand shows he is probably interested and the fact he is talking more and more suggest so also. I'm not one of those who thinks a man and woman cant be friends without one or the other being interested but in this type of scenario it does seem likely.
The point of my question being that if he hasn't actually met you in the flesh, then "liking" you is something he may well be doing but its not based on the reality of you or your life. In other words until he has met you and spent time with you in the real world, he is "liking" the version of you that you allow him to see during social media and email conversations. Also you do not like him in that way and again, you don't even know him. Spending months or even years talking to someone of FB, etc counts for little in the real world.
I don't think you need to go down the route of no contact just yet...not like he is sobbing or declaring undying love. I would slow things down, speak less, be polite but don't get so involved in conversations. Don't initiate conversations as much and see what happens. If he is fine being just friends he will respect that, if he pushes for more then you need to go no contact.
Hope that helps.
Mark
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNope, why I only like him has just a friend/pen pal.
I asked this question cause I was confused about what he meant. I could ask him but I don't want him to think I like him or make things awkward by assuming something. Does that make sense?
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (5 July 2014):
Have you ever actually met him?
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