A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this man out in a bar in the city (5 hours from where I live) one night 5 months ago and we exchanged numbers after really hitting it off. He had to leave at one stage to go to a works party for a few hours but we agreed to meet up again and all go on to somewhere else afterwards but I lost track of time. I text him the next day to apologize and he started texting me loads after that. It got to the point where I was struggling to find the time around looking after my child/studying/work etc to reply to them all. He wanted to know everything about me...fears/hopes/dreams etc. He even went as far as remembering my child’s birthday and wishing him a happy birthday to remembering to text me even when he was on holiday and ask how an extremely important event in my life had gone etc. Just extremely thoughtful things all the time! He was never sexual in his messages. I suddenly found myself really looking forward to his messages. We finally arranged to meet up again and had a great time together which ended in a night of passion. He was very quiet the next day but I heard from him several times that same day afterwards and then when I got home also but then suddenly I didn’t hear from him for 2 weeks and then after that it was every week or so but always with the same sweet things/asking about me and my life etc then all of a sudden he came out with “So when are you next here? I’ve met someone else that I’m very serious about so I can’t be your tour guide around here anymore. It’s quite scary! But I guess if you’re ever down we could still go for a platonic dinner?” I text back something really nice that I wish them both the best as I didn’t want to stroke his ego further (if that was what this whole scenario had been about) by getting angry about it (he has not text back but has not deleted me on fb) but now I am haunted with questions of if he even ever liked me at all or if he was just testing how I felt about him? Would it have been better to have told him that I was extremely upset and how much I had enjoyed getting to know him? Or do you he just had the girlfriend the whole time? I know at times I am not very good at showing how I feel and maybe gave him the impression I didn’t want a relationship. I have been quite guarded emotionally since my son’s father betrayed me and we split up. Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I am so confused.
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exchanged numbers, on holiday, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 I think you just need to forget about him now and move on. Maybe he just did not see any future with you both at all because of the distance. I guess it was wrong getting passionate with him so soon in to it, but we all learn from our mistakes. At least he was honest enough to tell you he is now in a relationship. Just cut all contact with him, delete him on facebook and move forward with your life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2011): To be honest - forget him. He sounds a charming user. You have been hurt before and he sounds unreliable. So be thankful to have missed further hurt and avoid him like the plague.
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