A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 16 year old male at school and realised that I have feelings for one of my male teachers and have done pretty much since he started teaching me in september 2005. It's strange because im not gay, in fact I have very normal feelings towards girls etc. but he seems to be an exception and I'm not really sure why, I just took an instant liking to him and have done since.I desperately want to tell him, probably when one of is is leaving / has left the school but I don't know if I should. This would probably be when im 18 and leaving after A-levels or if he leaves before then (which is unlikely as he hasn't been teaching at the school for long...) I have gone over the conversation a thousand times in my mind about what I would say. I'm not sure whether it's just a crush or not because I really do care about him and I can't stop thinking about him. I don't do it consciously, if im on my own or not thinking about anything (ie. trying to go to sleep at night) then I just start thinking about him and I can't help it. I miss him when I haven't seen or spoken to him in a while and its great being around him.Should I tell him or not?Even if I did when either of us had left the school, is it possible for something to happen?I am so confused, please help...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): I am a gay male teacher and I have very strong feelings to one of my male students. It sounds like your problem but from the other side around. He hasn't told me anything, and I haven't told him anything. There's nothing I can do, but I would hope that he would come and tell me if he loves me. I might not pursue the relationship since it is illegal, but i do believe knowing is a step toward a somewhat known place. He will graduate next year, and if he tells me, I will pursue a relationship with him after he graduates. My advice is to tell him especially if you're as close to him as I am with my student.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): i think you are bi, and you shouldnt tell him you like him that could be very embarassing situation, especially because he likely does not feel the same for you. and if you ever get over your crush on him, you may regret having told him how you feel
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): When we have this hole or need that hasn't been filled, it is easier for us to attach ourselves to those who tend to meet our need.
It sounds like you haven't really had a loving, stable homelife where Mom and Dad have been emotionally present for you and met all your needs.
So when you are finally having this met, you are romanticising the person who meets this need.
Any attention we receive from the opposite sex or same sex becomes something new and exciting and can easily blur what we are feeling.
In this, it is normal to assume this type of response.
This in no way implies you are same sex oriented but rather that you are latching onto your teacher.
It is so easy, especially in today's society when we tend to readily judge and label others to confuse this and paint it black or white.
I know that I usually someone who can see things as black and white and prefer people to run hot or cold as those who are unsure and uncertain get to me and I also know this is MY flaw and not theirs.
In certain cases such as yourself it is not something to readily label and classify with out fully understanding the whys.
So I hope you have gained some insight into what you may be experiencing.
I hope you the best in your young life and know that you hold so much promise to do and be anything you want. Just know for yourself your strengths and weaknesses and what you want a month from now, three months from now...and maybe a few years down the road. Do remember to leave a door open for yourself so you can always have the freedom to choose.
Please seek some individual counselling.
*hugs*
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know what your saying and I did have a girlfriend until recently that I did care about like that. But even so, at the asme time this was still going on with this teacher, even so - the feelings continued...
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A
male
reader, chocolate-love +, writes (23 January 2007):
mate i think you should avoid telling him simply because it will be long and painful journey. as the male anon guy said, its probably just puberty but then again like the female anon poster said, you may just be bi. Keep an open mind about things as there's nothing wrong with being bisexual or even homosexual in this day and age. A lot of people will judge you but hopefully on here we make you feel secure and comfortable with your sexuality.
Having said that, a teacher student relationship is dangerous and will have a lot of repercussions. My advice is try and find yourself a nice girl and see if you can feel about her in the same way; should help clarify certain issues especially if you only feel this way about this 1 teacher and no other male. finding a girl may solve your problems and at your age there's no harm in testing the waters so to speak :) good luck and keep us posted
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): I would say its all down to puberty.When some people go through puberty their hormones etc is allover the place and its normal for some people to have feeling for the same gender as themselves.You will grow out of this phase but if it happens that you are bi then theres nothing wrong with that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): sounds like you are gay to me, or at least bi. you shouldnt tell him. crushes are ok, but a teacher student relationship is inappropriate.
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