A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been at my job for 5 years. 2 months ago, I decided to change positions to get more experience. In my line of work, it looks good to try new roles and I'd been in my previous position for 4 years. My coworkers in my old position were like family. They knew me like a best friend and we all had a great time together. However, I felt this nagging sense to challenge myself and move to a new department. I was getting comfortable. I knew a few people on the new team, but not well. Since switching, I feel so insecure and uncomfortable. This new position is much more difficult, and the coworkers are nice enough but intense. I am used to a more laid back group of people. Another new girl joined and she quickly paired off with another coworker. They are nice and I've hung out with them a few times, but we don't have much in common and they don't always include me. Everyone else either keeps to themselves or has no interest in doing anything outside of work (many are married with children). I have a great social life and usually get along well with people, but I'm so insecure that these coworkers don't like me, think I'm bad at the job, or think I'm annoying. One of the girls made a comment about me doing something wrong, I apologized, but I've been there less than 2 months- I'm still learning! I'm usually not one to care what people think, but I'm so nervous about this situation. I don't want to seem incompetent or annoying, but I'm afraid asking questions does make it seem that way. What should I do? Thanks for reading.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2018):
 Focus more on your job than the social side of it. It's not high school anymore. what matters is your performance not making friends. (which it CAN be an added bonus to also make friends... it's BOT the priority in any job).
So Focus on your job and the challenge you took on. LEARN from the mistakes you made and instead of being mad that someone pointed one out... thanks them and DO better from then on. She didn't point out your mistake to bully you or make you feel bad, but because she wants you to improve and do your job right. THAT is why you are there, to WORK and be an asset to the company.
Chin up. Just focus on work and enjoy your OUTSIDE work social life. They really don't have to mix.
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