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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I'm in the tail end of a long divorce following a dragged out separation (long story) and am with a partner whom I love dearly. We have talked about marriage and she really wants kids, and while I am all for it, it is very hard for me to think about starting over again because I haven't even ended that chapter of my life yet. I wish I had not dragged my feet for so long on the divorce, but it is what it is.Lately she has been putting a bit of pressure on me. She is taking prenatal vitamins (she claims because they are the best mix of vitamins for the price out there), measuring her ovulation cycle and telling me to come inside her "if I want". She drops clues like she wants to get pregnant in the fall so she can have an early summer baby. Tonight she practically forced me to look at wedding locations and gowns online, and said she wants to get married next memorial day. I have no idea if the divorce will be fully settled by then. It probably will, but who knows what my crazy ex will take me to court over. She talks about our wedding to friends, and they all look at me funny when they ask if we're engaged and she says "well, no". Like I said, I am all for both the marriage and kids. But I want to wait until the divorce is final. I'm really afraid she will flip if I tell her I want to wait. But isn't it a bit ridiculous of her to push for a baby when I'm not even divorced yet? I am seeing my attorney soon to see if I can speed things up, because I really DO want to. But I'm going crazy over the pressure.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Well, you need to SIT her down and tell her how you feel. By NOT telling her you are basically leading her on in her "imaginary" little world.
Be honest.
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