A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just finished year 11 at school. It was a great day everyone had fun and most the girls and some of the boys cried.Then there was the leavers party that night. It all went well till two of my mates left at 8 and I was left to hang out with a bunch of guys I'd just met.Luckily they seemed to be nice guys, we had fun, talked lots and nothing happened.Till today.There was this guy I was hanging out with and he got my number off one of my mates and he asked me out.He then wouldn't stop talking about doing it. I'm not even 16 yet. I told him I don't want to feel under pressure to do it especially as we just met a few days ago, but he said it was ok to wait till after exams had completely finished etc, but he wants to know where we're going do it, because both our houses are off limits. He continues to tell me that he's done it in changing rooms before, I told him we'll talk later because he wouldn't let it go, I told him I'm not that kind of girl, but he didn't get the message and some people have said to dump him but I think I love him.Everytime I look into his eyes I feel like I'm melting and want to do anything he wants, but I then get scared and have stop talking to him.I really don't know what to do. Please, how do I deal with this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Listen DON'T DO IT!, im a guy myself and i know how he thinks. All he wants with you is sex, and after that he will most likely leave you and go find someone else. Trust me i've seen those type of guys, they are just trouble. I suggest you stay away from him and not talk to him, just dump him. I can't beieve you would even consider it after only just meeting him. If its the only thing he talks about, then he only want sex that's it nothing else. Take my advice and leave him because if you do it with, you will deeply regret it in the future. Look for someone that only cares about what you want, and NOT his own selfish desires. There are better guys out there, and if i was that guy i would never ask for us to have sex. Especially after just seeing each other for a few days. First you have to get to know someone, then after spending a lot of time with them you should then think about taking the relationship to the next level. Even then not any you should be thinking about sex, unless you were going to spend the rest of your life with that person and get married to him. Anyways maybe i said a bit too much, but im telling you take my advice and leave that guy. Because he could leave you heartbroken by leaving you straight after having it.
A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (24 May 2009):
 Satindesire has it right. He wants nothing but sex, you can have sex with him if you want but he probably won't want to know you after it has happened.
If he's the kind of guy that just ASSUMES you're going to have sex with him after just meeting do you think he's the kind of guy that is going to respect you and stay with you if you say no? I'd bet my life he isn't.
And please tell me you're not impressed by him having sex in changing rooms - that's disgusting. If you were a shopper trying on clothes, how would you feel if suddenly you were aware of two silly underage teenagers having sex in the room next to you? It's vile.
How can you say you love him? Is this the kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? And you've only known him a short while. You don't love him, you're flattered by his attention - nothing more.
If you're willing to allow him to pressure you into doing something you don't want to then you are setting yourself up for a huge fall when he dumps you to move on to the next easy girl.
Good luck, and I hope you make the right decision.
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A
female
reader, AdviceGiverandReceiver +, writes (24 May 2009):
He's taking advantage. If he really loves you he will wait until you're ready. I know it's hard but if he's pressuring you, he's not worth it and possibly dangerous, so dump him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT DO IT!!!
He's clearly just using you for sex! I agree with all the other answers! I'm 19 years old and i know myself that all boys that age and even right up til my age do not have the maturity to respect a woman and respect her feelings, all they care about is getting their leg over! I was 14 when i lost my virginity and it was to an absolute arsehole who only cared about sex and trust me, this guy is exactly the same!! He might make you feel like you love him now, but trust me you wont love him when hes left you straight after sex!! That is all he cares about sweetie please listen! I know it wont seem that way now but i dont want you to realise when its too late like i did! It breaks your heart!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Goodness, you melt everytime you look at him..yet he's treating you this way? I agree with the below advice..you are smart and it jumps off the page here. Use those smarts and do not engage your heart too fast. He has a goal..he wants something from you. Do not be overly flattered..be pissed off, that he treating you this way. How very disrespectful of him! You need to be very, very selective, and use your self-love when choosing someone who is good for you. And I think you are trying here.Or you wouldn't have written in here for advice. My suggestion is to be very, very forthright and strong- tell him, that there is no way you will be doing 'it' with him and that you do not want to date him....period. You deserve to be treated with respect. This boy has a big problems..he views females as sperm depositories..not living breathing people, who deserve to honored and respected. Whenever a boy can't talk about anything else, other than sex and pressures you like this, what does that tell you about him? Selfish, entitlement, an ass..a few words that come to my mind. He does not want a quality, nice relationship. Tell him thanks but no thanks.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Don't do it. You will regret it without a doubt. I'm 17 and he is clealry using you. He just wants sex. You will realise boys this age just want that and not the love that comes with it.
Guys at 16/17/18 are deparate for just that and not commitment. You do not love him-you barley met him! yes you might feel like melting from his eyes, but guys can do that. They'll tell you anything you want to hear to get you into bed for their sake.
Wait for the right guy and tell him to bugger off and find someone more foolish. Concentrate on your exams and wait until uni to find someone who will put your views first. That's what I'm doing! Listen to your friends. He is a player and wants to add you to his number-please see some sense-he told you he;s done it in the changing rooms! Seriously. I sense you are an intelligent girl so don't pander to what he wants-because you will have to live with the consequences.
Izi
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