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female
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*azzer30
writes: hi i need some help im married with 3 children and a morgage i need help to sort things out ive ask my husband if he will leave as im no longer in love with him i want to tell him im no longer in love with him but i dont want to hurt his feeling hes a soft and gentle man a good dad to the children and i feel i owe him more then to say hurt full things.and to top things off now we have his mum and dad getting involved i feel like im at my wits end with it all ive said we need to keep things together and try and say friends for the kids sakes Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): Poor bloke how can you do this to him, why don't you move out? He probably isn't in love with you either. The "in love feeling" never lasts for ever it grow into something stronger. As a joint tenant and as your husband (and regardless of who owns the house in law) he can stay in the matrimonial home for as long as he likes - how would you feel if he was telling you to move out!!Suggest you take stock of the situation and think very carefully as to what you do and say in the next few hours /days, as this may influence the rest of your life. Do you want to be a single Mum, best certain most men wouldn't take you on with 3 children in tow? Do you want your children to grow up without their Dad?You have to obviously do what's right for you, but don't be niave or unrealistic when it comes to love perhaps you should talk to him, wouldn't you want him to give you the same chance if he were binning you?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): telling him the truth is best. saying hurtful things really means you dont want yourself to feel bad(wimpy) it has little to do with protecting him. His feelings will be less hurt by a reason he could understand if the shoe was on the other foot than none at all leaving him to speculate the worst. I would rather hear someone fell out of love with me than be left to imagine that they had cheated or never loved me. Tell the truth-he wont enjoy this either way so at least honour the marrige with honesty. Anyway why should he leave- if it is a joint mortgage then he owns half, therefore the house should be sold and split (unless you have already assumed the kids are yours in custody), very selfish assumptions have been made here though given modern ways you probablly will get what you want.I cannot belive you want to make him homeless but care enough to not say hurtfull things. Your supposed intentions and your behaviour contradict one another to say the hypocritical least
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