A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm self employed and earn enough to be able to move to my dream city soon.I'm really worried about making friends there though. I have good social skills but dropped out of uni a few years ago and have pretty much stayed at home working, with zero friends or acquaintances. I'm also depressed due to my awful family and am cutting ties with them. I was actually pretty "popular" at uni but had no real close friends and deleted my Facebook account as I didn't want to be reminded of uni life. I do want a new FB though.I know a lot of people with normal social lives struggle to make friends after moving. How do I go about the whole making friends without them thinking I'm weird for having no other friends/building up Facebook from scratch thing? Would starting off by only making friends from groups for people with depression/social anxiety be a good idea? Haven't seen my GP about this yet, I know the wrong word from someone would push me over the edge and they never listen to me about even normal problems.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2015): I don't think making friends with other SA people will help furfill your need to socialise. I know this from experience, it might help to talk about problems, share experiences etc but probably its not going to get you out and about like you really need.esp if you are talking to people online and not in real life. I have depression and anxiety I find it very hard to make friends, I only have one best friend who is very outgoing and upbeat. This is much more helpful for someone like me. I would try and join a group in your new area associated with a hobby or something you like, that gets you out doing things. I have a hobby I'm very into which is something I can enjoy by myself but that also allows me to have small friendly interactions with people if I want to, in a non-pressured way. Goodluck with new move and venture!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2015): well you sound as if you should see your doctor if you're close to the edge with depression as that is a very uncomfortable situation for you;You need to rely on yourself before you make friends, even though you feel you have a gregarious side to you.It is important to deal with these problems and pressures before it wears you out. You can insist on talking therapies where you can discuss how you feel about family and so on as there are always mixed feelings of loyalty and disappointment when family lets you down emotionally.Otherwise and after a few sessions of hearing it from your point of view the therapist should have some strategies for you to cope with difficult days. Meanwhile you should try to take antidepressants daily until you start to feel more comfortable in yourself because it is just a way to get your happiness hormones to kick in and if youve been under a lot of stress and upset your happiness hormnes may have taken a temporary hike and forgotton how to gve you a better state of mind...Perhaps these things just got used up earlier in trying to cope with all the things life has thrown at you. After that you chill a bit, friends will come your way soon enough.
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