A
female
age
36-40,
*ngelface3387
writes:Should I back off and give boyfriend some room? Is there something wrong with me because I have a high sex drive? How can I get him to perform oral sex first without directly asking for it? We've been dating for 9 months I'm in love with him. I enjoy making love, however it seems like I'd like to do it more often than him. A lot of the time it seems he'd rather play his games on his phone than please me. He rarely initiates by going down on me first. If he does initiate it's him putting my hand on his penis. If he does give me oral it's me getting on top of after first sucking on his penis a little.
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oral sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2017): I think for some people it is more exciting to wait and build up the sexual tension, then when you actually do get to things it is even more powerful (hopefully), while others prefer to just do it more frequently.
You mention the difference in drives, but could you be more specific? how many times a week or month are you wanting to vs. his wants?
Some men are just quite passive in bed as well...You could always try waiting longer and not initiating, then seeing if he comes around to initiating more when you are "making him wait" so to speak.
A
female
reader, Angelface3387 +, writes (27 January 2017):
Angelface3387 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the support and suggestions guys, I really appreciate it! I just need more confidence. I suppose once I start using my "womanly powers" I may feel more comfortable. Things have been better the last couple nights. He has been initiating it and hasn't been on his stupid phone. Please continue to answer this. I'm still interested in what people think, thanks again!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 January 2017):
 He sounds lazy in bed.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 January 2017):
 Nothing wrong with you for having a high sex drive. We are all different. Plan a night off passion, wear something sexy, be flirty, tell him what you want him to do to you.
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (25 January 2017):
 You sound like a lot of fun to me! I'm not sure what his problem is! There are plenty of women who have higher sex drives than their men, so you are not alone in that problem. I think he has just got a bit lazy and needs shaking out of it! I have every faith you can re-ignite his interest. Just needs a bit of imagination and you can distract him from his phone! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 January 2017):
 The two sexiest words in the English language to a guy are: eat me..... If he can't respond to that then there's no hope.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (25 January 2017):
Uumm...You are a woman...and you have womanly skills we cannot resist...why are you not using them?
WiseOwl made some good points.
You have a short skirt? No underwear, and sit next to him on the couch. Lean back and spread your legs. Once you get his attention...you say "How many points do you get if you lick me until I cum?"
Men love a challenge...and we love to chase after you...but if you are not giving us something to chase...then his phone will become his new play thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2017): Ask him to do you first. Seriously, it doesn't matter who initiates sex. If you want him go down on you first, just say so. Don't sit there wanting something and waiting for him to read your mind. If he wants it, he lets you know.
You're at the age when a woman's sex-drive peaks. A man's sex-drive will plateau as he approaches 40.
If sex is really a major ingredient that you desire in your relationship to keep you happy; then you have to find your match.
If it becomes a bone of contention, then you're incompatible, and it's better to bail-out than start accusing him of things; or assuming you're not sexy.
It's quite alright for you to have the strongest sex-drive, but I guess you've got a bit of problem if he catch match it. Stuff happens.
All relationships have a period in their sex-lives when they go up or down, side-ways, or there may be a lull for awhile. You get used to each other. It's normal. The heat comes back. If you treat each other well, that is.
You've only been together 9 months; so you're still getting to know each other. Talk it out, but be sexy and sweet about it. It's about sex!
So many people write DearCupid, when most of the problem is honesty and communication. People complain too much, make their lovers feel bad, or they jump to conclusions. Set the right mood, and you usually get what you want. It's early in the relationship, so you can teach each other things. Tell him exactly what you like, and how much. How else will he know.
Please, please, please, not the "he should know, and just do it!" No, sometimes you have to educate a lover! Nothing is more fun than talking about sex with your partner. Heats me right up!
If you want him to go down on you first; as soon as he puts your hand on his penis; sweetly ask if he'll please you first. If you want to initiate sex, just do it. If he's not in the mood, he's not in the mood. You're not always in the mood either. If you want to give him some room, and let things heat-up a little, that works too!
Some things are just not that complicated. It's just a matter of communication and compromise. Oh, throw in some affection, a little sexy teasing, tenderness, and lots of kindness. That goes a long way when you want sex!
When he's got that stupid game in his hands, straddle him and give him some loving! Take charge now and then!
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