A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HI, I dont know why I have this sad feeling that I am more emotionally attached to my bf than he is.We are together for almost 3 years, we dont live together but we are very involve in each ones lives..that is what I think.He has some problems recently and I gave him all the support a partner can give,,emotionally and even financially, we continue our lives anyway...then I started to realize I am always for him, not matter what, what time or what is the matter I am always for him, but when I need him, lets say I am alone the weekend and I want him to come over and watch movies or cooking or whatever he then says: oh I am busy, I am going to see my guy friends..lets meet the Sunday..so I have to wait for him to come see me at Sunday, night when he is already tired of the weekend with friends and the only thing he is able to do is have sex ans sleep. I have been watching and this is a pattern that is making me sad and depressed.. I spoke with him already and he says he likes see his friends weekends because work schedule does not help..but what about me?? Do I have to schedule myself to see him Sundays night? And only for sex? I am feeling very tired.. Last week I bought one small present for him and when I told him I have something his answer was: wait for me until Sunday because I am with my friends.." and yes he came around 10pm and the sleep at midnight. I dont know why I am continuinf with this situation,,I need some advice, thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2016):
 You are allowing him to walk all over you and treat you this way. After three years you should want more, and so should he. But he doesn't. He is happy seeing you once a week for sex or to have you there if he needs help or is having a bad time. But what do you get out off this? After three years there should be more commitment. Sweetie I think you know you are the one making this relationship stand, therefore you should ask yourself is this really what you want from a man? I know it would not be enough for me. I understand you love him, but honey love is not always enough. Get rid off him and hold out for someone who will treat you like you deserve.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016): thanks a lot for the kind advices. yes i agree. it is the time to put some boundaries and make changes. it will get better or it will end. i know. thanks!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 November 2016):
 I agree with BrownWolf,
The relationship is entirely one sided, with YOU doing all the work, making all the compromises and him just taking what he wants and offering VERY little in return.
It's been 3 years and it's become routine. For both of you. For him to prioritize his friends over you and for you to accept that (even if you don't like it, you don't kick up a fuss).
I think YOU need to start being busy in YOUR life. With YOUR friends, family and hobbies. Sunday nights? If that is all you get from him, I'd start to be busy on Sundays too. Go see your family for dinner or whatnot and be too tired to have him come round late night for sex and sleeping.
You are both ( I presume) in your 30's, correct? So making the "mates" be a higher priority than you his GF, means he isn't fully invested in you. If he was HE would invite you to come along on these "friend events/hangout" or simply... SPEND more time with you.
Start to enjoy life and NOT wait around for him to either entertain you or snub you. Go out with friends, do yoga, join a gym or join a hiking group in your area (or whatever you LIKE to do) meet new people and GIVE yourself the ATTENTION you need.
If you LOANED him money, tell him he can pay you back asap if need be in smaller amounts starting now.
I think you will find as YOU start to get busy HE with either pay more attention or not even notice it. If it's the latter.... what's the point in dating him? If it's the first, let HIM take over the planning and see if he can put forth a bigger effort or not. If he can good, if he can't well, then you know you might as well let him go.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (8 November 2016):
Let me ask you this...If you go to a store to buy a pair of shoes, and looked around and found nothing you liked, what do you do? Would you spend three years in that store looking for something that is not there? Or would keep looking in other stores until you found what you need?
Why are you still shopping in the same store when it does not have what you want???
Do you think the longer you wait that some how he will change?? It's been three years. He is not your husband, you have no kids together, heck, you do not even live together. When you invest your time, emotions, and money in something, you expect to get something back right?
Three years, and go back what? So you plan to wait for the four year to see what happens? You do realise he is using you right?
When a man loves a woman, he wants to spend all his time with her. He brings her to his friends and shows her off. Not leave her at home so he can hang with his friends like a single guy...Hell no. Unless both of you have made that arrangement to hang with your friends separately on weekends...no deal.
Simple rule...When two people are together in a relationship, they are called a couple...not a sometimes together, maybe, when you get a chance, only on the weekends, boyfriend and girlfriend when it is convenient.
Never give a guy sex for free. He must make a committed emotional investment in your life...FIRST!!!
In other words...If he does not commit to touching your heart, he never gets to touch between your legs...And he must NOT only try to touch your heart to get sex. He must be committed to doing so without sex.When he has proven himself...then you rock his world.
Even criminals get paid for their illegal work...Why should any man get sex for free???
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