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I'm miffed over my spouse calling a former co-worker! How do I get over it?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2008)
A female Canada age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I would like to know what this means? When your spouse calls someone they barely know from a former job, because their fiancee had just up and left one day, and they felt really bad for them, so they called them up to ask if everything was allright. Personally that is none of my spouse's business, especially if it is someone they don't even know. I confronted my spouse on this,and wow did they feed me a line of crap. To this day it still bothers me, how do i get over it?

View related questions: co-worker, fiance

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008):

Suggest you cool off. First, your spouse DOES know the person. They worked together at a former job, and he did get her phone number. Do you realistically think or expect your spouse to obtain your permission before they talk to anyone? If so, you have control issues and you should examine those.

Just so you know where I am coming from, I have been married 25 years. I certainly do not police my wife's e mails, phone calls or conversations, and I expect and obtain the same courtesy from her. Marriage is a partnership, but it does not mean you OWN the other person.

Sounds like your spouse just might me a nice guy who felt sorry for someone.

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A female reader, Deema United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2008):

Deema agony auntPS How many people want to scream at that ad for 'Extra Marital Dating' right below your question. As if people need help, they already get up to enough as it is !!!

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A female reader, Deema United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2008):

Deema agony auntHmmmm, sticky one. Why does it bother you so much? Have you reason to be suspicious of him or is it just your insecurity? How do you know he called her? Surely if he told you then he's being upfront and honest and I'd say you have nothing to fear, but if you were checking his phone, why were you checking his phone, what do you think he's up to? A friend tells me that jealousy is doubt, and I kind of agree with that - you're either doubting him or yourself. Do you know, honestly, which one it is, or are you too confused to know right now. Speak to him, from your heart, tell him how you really feel, instead of accusing and blaming, then see how you feel. Time will tell anyway. Things always come to light. If he's up to no good you'll soon know, so you can stop worrying. Good luck.

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