| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i recently started messing around with a great guy at work. but there are a few things wrong. he has a girlfriend,but in a few months after shes done with school shes moving out of state. he feels he loves her even though shes awful to him. he likes me, hes very interested in me, i have 2 kids and im almost 5 years older than him. hes a college guy. i like him alot, i want to be with him,but all of this has me scared.what can i do?
View related questions:
at work, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 December 2005):
Hello there,
The first thought that came to my mind when I read your post was, have you thought about if you were to persue a relationship with this guy if/when he was to end the relationship with his gf, do you think you could ever trust him? I mean if he has a gf and is fooling around with you, what does that say about him? Not much does it. Doesn't that put you off? Is that something that is scaring you? A relationship that doesnt trust basicly always fails. You ask anyone about there past relationships and I bet you the number one reason why things didnt work out because there was a lack of trust and respect for each other and just general in life for otherp eople.
Thats soomethign to think hard about when considering if going into a relationship with him is a good idea or not. From what i have read and you know remmeber you didnt give that much detail or information so my opiunion might not be the best one (lol), but its to stop the foooling around right not. Because if no relationship devlops from this its just going to make it harder on you and you obviously want so much more then just a guy to fool around with? Secondly its just immoral to do that with someone who is aloready in a relationship. And thirdly, you might be giving this gu ythe idea that its ok to cheat, if hes in a 'un happy relationmship' so if you were to go into one with him, he might think he can get away with it.
If this guy really wants a relationship with you and you want one wth him, stop the foooling around, get him to sort out his relationship wiht his cureent gf, then go over ground rules with each other then persue it.
hope i have helped, hope it works out ofr you :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2005):
Arent you busy enough with the two kids that you dont need to be out looking for more drama?
This is obviously not going to end well- either he'll will get a job and move out of town when he graduates or she'll find out and slash your tires and you'll be late for carpool line. When you are a parent you no longer have the option of behaving like a dumb teenager.
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (10 December 2005):
He doesn' tknow what he wants. Keep it casual, and don't make this the main thing in your life. He may run off chasing after this girl when she leaves town. He may not be ready to take on a gf who is both older and more experienced than he is, and already has two children, even if he has gone to college. Just cool it for a couple of more months so he has the space to decide what he is going to do with the other girl. If she is already planning to move, it doesn't sound like their relationship means much to her, if that is any kind of consolation.
...............................
|
