A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a married man for about 7 years. It all started as a bit of fun with a sneaky cuddle here and there and a few trips to the cinema. In the last year I myself have married my partner of 10 years and had 2 children. Just lately things have changed between myself and my lover, he went on holiday for 2 weeks with his wife and when he came back he kissed me in such a way that it swept me off my feet. Now he has said to me that I am a nice person but when I said that I couldn't be that nice as I am having an affair he replied by saying "when you fall madly in love with someone you forget about everything else" (or words to that effect - he definately said when you fall madly in love with someone). His eyes said to me that he was madly in love with me and his kisses definately said that. Help me, what do I do? Is this man falling in love with me or am I imagining it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, becky05 +, writes (30 June 2005):
I think your lover wants to remain just that..... your lover, if he wanted otherwise he would have made more of a commitment after 7 years. I believe he loves his wife more than you if he remains to keep you his 'bit on the side'.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2005): Are you sure he's in love with you or..is he just telling you this..to have a sexual dalliance with you? An affair is rarely nothing more than a sexual mistake. It sounds to me, he's just looking for a bit o' fun and he's a cad who's bored. It is a clear indication that his marriage and wife mean very little to him. That should be a clear indicator to you as to just what type of man he is.
People who feel unfulfilled in their marriages will seek outside relationships to fill emotional gaps that cannot be responded to in any other way. I sure you do the right thing and ignore his advances, especially if you are in a committed, loving relationship with your husband.
When you have an affair , it can damage lives and please give some thought to your children. They deserve a happy, intact two parent family. When a woman or man has an affair..it doesn't become just "their problem..it becomes
their familie's problem".
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