A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I seem to be in a lot of confusion...i have been married for 3 years now. i also have a son of 2 years with my husband.My problem is that my past relationships seem to haunt me terribly in the sense that i would love to revive them...my husband loves me deeply but i seem not to give him the same percentage he gives me...it's like i am partly in and partly out. I picture myself with an ex that we never really closed the chapter. I married my husband because he cared for me and also because of convenience if you know what i mean.Am confused and don't know what to do. Please advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): In my opinion, contacting your ex would be a bad idea. If you're not 100% sure that your marriage isn't working, then you'll regret not trying to sort things out. Also, have you tried telling your husband that you feel a bit down? Chances are he probably doesn't realise. However, having a child is no excuse to stay in a stale relationship. Chin up, we all have rough patches. Good luck x x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis is an update to my previous question!
I mentioned my 2 year old son so that it could help one's perspective in this anwerinh my questionn. I love my son and so does my husband.
My husband and i have roughly 24 yrs btween us...
And to all those who've answered with some advice, thanks guys...they've given me something to think about!
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Could it be that you became involved with your husband as a rebound from the pain you had during the break up with your ex? Could it also be that you rushed into the marriage before you had time to realize there was no sexual chemistry between the two of you? Marrying a man for "comfort" is usually a bad idea and since you already didn't have closure with your ex, your feelings for him are resurfacing. Okay, it's time for damage-control! Your thinking is destructive. I suspect your ex broke up with you, and that's why you can't get him out of your head. If so, you must let him go regardless of the closure. You now have a son by your husband so perhaps couple's counseling would help you sort out what's going on with you and help you get things back on track. You may also be battling mild depression, which is common among women with small children. Talk to your physician also, and make sure nothing else could be going on with you. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): i know exactly how you feel......i have found myself in a similiar situation. i bet ur going through so many emotions right now, guilt etc. Don't do what i did, i contacted my ex and we have been sort of seeing each other when we can, now life is very difficult, it's not the way to go. Try and rekindle some of the magic with ur husband and think of ur child. I know it's difficult and u can't help how u feel, but talking from experience u should stop this before anything starts. good luck xx
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