A
female
age
41-50,
*elling_bad_already
writes:When I was 16 I met a friend while staying with relatives for the summer. We both liked each other but were to shy to say anything. We kept in touch .the last 10 years. I am now married with a family and he is recently single. For al long as I can reme,ber I would think what my life would be like if we had dated. I am not happy with my marriage but feel that it is best to stay married for our kids. This summer a freind of ours is getting married and I will be going alone to the wedding. He knows that I am unhappy in my marrriage and has told me he wishes that he had of told me back then how he felt about me. Since we started palnning to see each other at the wedding (the first time we would see each other in 7 years) We started talking about what it would be like to be together "sexually". He has asked em to spend the time at his house instead of a hotel so we could "be alone" together. I really believe that on this vacation something sexual will happen between us. I feel guilty about it but at the same time I want it to happen. I dont know what to do? I need some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): i am married and have two kids i know it is difficult i am also in un happy marriege but what i advice you is that try to be happy and establish a happy relationship with your husband that will be the good way to maintain, other wise things things will be so completcated with your new gay,,,,,, try to stay away from him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): you have already decided to be an adultere and when the shit hitss the fan you have only yourself to blame. then your poor kids will know what their mother is really like. why steal your hb's resources if you don't love him. leave him and go spread it for another man, it is what you want and no amount of us telling you otherwise will matter. you are deliberatly sneaky, lying and cheating on your hb. well, soon it will blow up and know this, your secret will not be safe. this man has given you an open invitation to have sex with you and you are obliging. please do what you want since your mind is made up. at least have protected sex, don't want you to get knocked up and then claim it is your husbands. welcome to the end of your marriage. and please do not be upset, it is what you are planning. be caref what you wish for,.....the writing's on the wall.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 Have you and your husband been to counseling? Have you had honest talks about what's wrong with your marriage?
I know you don't want to end things with your husband, but breaking up over unhappiness and breaking up over an affair still have the same result. I have a feeling you have already decided on your course of action though.
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A
female
reader, DanniBaby  +, writes (23 May 2009):
If you don't love your husband then i don't see why you can't see other guys.
I understand the concept of staying married due to your childrens happiness.
However if you're not happy with your husband and feel this other guy who you have known since you was young could make you happy then why not?
You only live once, have fun while it lasts.
Just think of it this way , the only reason why you and your husband are remaining together is for your childrens sake not for happiness and you are entitled to being happy.
Good luck X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): You've already decided to cheat on your husband, that much is clear. You say you believe it will, and you say you want it to happen. When you say 'I don't know what to do - I need some advice', what exactly are you asking? How best to conceal it from your husband? Or are you hoping people on this site will offer you justification for your actions so you won't feel as guilty?
We've limited scope to answer, because you haven't explained what's wrong with your marriage in any detail. You state vaguely that you're 'not happy' in the marriage...is this recent, or has it been the case for 10 years? Are you going through a minor bad patch, or seriously at one another's throats all the time?
As for 'staying together for the sake of the kids', that again depends on how workable your relationship with your husband is. Hayleya247 testifies that her parents argued all the time, and she's now glad they broke up. This may not apply to every flawed marriage. In my case, my parents always seemed to get on well, but it became blatantly obvious when I was around 15 that my mother was having a very physical affair with another man while my father was at work.
Having been misfortunate enough to hear the sex on several occasions, I can state with certainty that it had and continues to have a horrible effect on me personally. But my father never found out, I never told him or confronted her, they still get on pretty well, and I'm actually quite glad that they're still together, while knowing full well that this is not at all the way a proper marriage is meant to work.
You need to decide if your marriage is saveable, and either commit fully to it, or make a clean break and get divorced. The third, easiest option is to be selfish and cowardly and 'have your cake and eat it', staying with your husband while continuing to cheat on him. But don't expect your kids to think very highly of you if you do, and don't kid yourself you're doing it 'for their sake'.
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