A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am involved in a emotional affair with a man that I have known off and on for 4 years. I have become very close to him and have fallen completly for him. I am married and I know that I need to end this affair. I have tried to just be friends with this man. I cant help my feelings though they always come through. I dont know what to do anymore I know I need to end it very soon. I feel that I will be miserable if I do. I really love him that is what kills me. I have a life with my husband and that is reality.. What should I do break it off or try and stay frineds with him......
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): to double m, yes i did read the post and the update. i am still confused.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 October 2009):
To "anonymous," did you read the posting?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): "Once a cheater always a cheater that is for sure" i am confused. are you talking about yourself cheating on your husband?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have allot of sympathy for all women out thier married or unmarried who have been lied to and cheated on, It happened to me and it will nerver happen again. Once a cheater always a cheater that is for sure.... Peace and love to everyone....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): first question is, if you where ever in real love with your current husband, or you just got married as a commitment, or as i call it by the book....
if you where in love before you met this new ''angle" then don't rush think it over if you are really ready to loose your husband.
but if you where never in real love with your husband, and just got married by the book,,, or because some match maker,, friends or family put you together, then take the next step, witch is:
talk to this guy very openly, and see if his feelings are as strong for you, as your feelings are for him, test him and check if he would really want a relationship with you, if he dos not pass, then u must stop this relationship A.S.A.P. otherwise you are at risk of loosing both,
if he relay loves you, and want that relationship with you, and you where never in love before,,,, then GO FOR IT!!!
don't do the mistake lots of people out there are doing, finely finding what they have been looking for there whole life TRUE LOVE, but then they flush it away, because "the are in a relationship already"
one of the biggest pain is, being married and committed with out love,,, if there is love, everything would be ok, and if there is no love nothing will be ok,, so staying stuck with this non happy marriage, and flushing away real love, is not what i would do...
i hope this will help.. i wish you all the best!
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (12 October 2009):
You cant find love in your marriage if you are seeking love outside of it.
Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for our actions. The fact that you have let this go on for this long means you do not take your marriage vows seriously. I suggest you grow up, be an adult, and inform your husband of your treachery. Understand that emotional affairs can be just as awful as physical affairs, so please just tell your husband and accept the consequences of your actions. And cut all ties with this other man.
I am afraid it will be up to your husband now and not you whether or not he will forgive you. You lost the right to determine the direction of your marriage the second you began the emotional affair. And be completely honest with him. It's your only chance.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (12 October 2009):
You must decide. It may be difficult if sexual. We hope that no young children are involved.
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