A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i've been going out with my girlfriend for just over a year. Heres my problem: Its a one-sided relationship. It seems like I put all the effort into the relationship. She never really calls me, its always me calling her. It's rarely her inviting me to do something, its me inviting her. And, she's always busy and doing stuff (like going to concerts or whatnot) and the last time she invited me to do something was like 4 months ago. We are both in high school and we see each other every school day.She also is not affectionate. She does not like kissing and just doesn't show me affection beyond a hug when we are going to class. She's so unpredictabble. Some days she is somewhat affectionate, somedays she is just like a stick. I ask her if she's having any trouble at home. She says no usually but I just don't understand why she does this.I really don't know what to do. I really do love her...when she's in her good mood, we have so much fun together. But when she's in her moody form, I just want to scream. Ugh...Any ideas on what to do...
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): (smile) I am with ChiRaven. (We are about the same age,..and old Yanks, lol). Young friend, girls of your age go through many "moody" things. More than you do. It is just the way it is. Adult women still go through them, all the time. It is a real pain for us males of all ages. The wise among us understand and learn to deal with it. If you truly care for her, you will take the "moody" with the "normal" (wink). When she is in the "moody blues", just go lightly. Don't antagonize her with, "What's wrong?, Is it me? What can I do?", etc., etc. Just give her a smile and let her alone. She will be back. She may even be apologetic. That is when you say, "about what?" It takes a while to develop these skills. If you are not that interested in her, don't bother. It can be a full-time job.(wink). Best wishes, Tom
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (7 April 2007):
 OK, your like about 14, right? I'm about 50 years older than you are. If YOU figure out the secret of women, bottle it and sell it. I'll be your first customer.
Some women are just spooky. Get used to it. She probably won't be the last one you'll know in your life.
So what to do?
The best advice I can give is the old stand by: Communication. Talk to this girl. Tell her how you feel, tell her how her actions make you feel. Don't blame her for anything ... concentrate on YOUR feelings, up, down, or otherwise. See if you can get her to open up a little bit to you and communicate back ... about how she feels about you and how your actions make her feel ... why she "is just like a stick" sometimes and affectionate at other times.
This may not work. She may be dealing with growing emotions on a pre-aware level and may not be able to tell you just why she behaves the way she does. People your age change a lot, even from day to day. But it's worth a shot. If you can establish a habit of communicating about feelings with this girl you'll have a big leg up in the relationship department.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): Aww bless you honey its nice to read about a young man who wants to show affection to his girlfriend, she should feel honoured. If she continues to treat you this awful way then I say you should ditch her and get yourself a nice young lady who gives you mutual affection. You have plenty of time to find the perfect girl for you so don't worry, you sound like a caring guy and the young lady who falls in love with you will be very lucky. Good luck honey
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