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female
,
anonymous
writes: In October of 2005, I visited my parents' hometown to see relatives I haven't seen in several years. I met a cousin who I never knew before. He's actually the son of one of my first cousins, so that would make him my first cousin, once removed (kind of confusing). Anyway, we hit it off and started talking online after I came back home. A couple of months ago, he opened up to me and told me that he is in love with me. I started feeling the same way, too, but felt kind of strange about it, so I didn't know what to do. Now I've come to terms with it. We are both so madly in love with each and hope to be together the way we want someday. I am 31 and he is almost 29, so we're both adults, but we are concerned about how our families would react if we told them. We both know that we will be very happy together if we can be together the way we want. Advice please! Thanks :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): Unfortunately, with today's mainly westernized society, most people will feel that it is wrong - based on what, I don't quite know. Maybe it's an age-old dilemma not to be in love 'that way' with a family member - at least not with someone in your immediate family. Someone somewhat outside of your immediate family - say first cousins are still not accepted due to blood-ties of course. However, how can we dig into morality and hinder immorality obsolete in a case of love?
As said, unfortunately, we can't, and those of us who suggests that it is immoral do not first have a basis of why it is immoral, yet they will still defend their ground and say it is. So what to do?
Objectively, I wish things can work out between you two and your families and close friends. That would be a step towards a non-religious, non hypocritical society. However, I do have society etched into my senses unfortunately and recognized that what you and your lover is trying to do will be difficult. If you think about it, your lover has half the blood as you do. The idea of having him with half the blood of what you have in your body should be a deterring step for you. Alas, it is not so. Blood ties should not be a deciding factor in love. Love should be mental complemented with the physical. Having children on the other hand should be discouraged of course, lest you face discrimination, and your children's classmates shunning them because of their background...
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 Well the Roosevelts were cousins. You may or may not upset some family members but your happiness hangs in the balance. I say you two should go for it. However you may want to speak with a specialist before you decide to have a baby since the gene pool is so limited here.
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