A
female
age
30-35,
*MxDreams
writes:To start off with- I don't handle stress well. At all. I am full time college (wanting to take a year break) and full time work. I love my job, its easy, its full time, and its enjoyable. My parents force me to go to college. I want to move out but I dont have credit, which you need to get a loan to buy a house. Fail.My mom tries to control my relationships.I just broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. I wasnt happy, tried to stay in it because I didnt want to hurt him be began to become a royal bitch towards him.Well now he's a bit of a stalker after being broken up for a month and ahalf.I've never been one to date one guy then date another. My first boyfriend- which was my senior year in HS it took me over a year to actually start dating anyone after I broek up with him.Then I dated this guy- who I broke up with.I met a guy whose really nice. He does have a daughter, I'm 19 but I love children. He's 23. Shes a sweet little girl too and one you can't help but fall in love with!But my mom has already started in saying I spend too much time with him. And just generally insulting my choice in relationships.That I need to 'date around' which honeslty would make me feel like a slut or look like one.I never liked just dating. I want a serious relationship- one day. I wont jump into something I'm nto ready for. My ex asked me to marry him. I want so bad to some day be married- but I knew I wasnt ready and turned him down.Is there something wrong with wanting to spend a lot of time with someone you're dating? I go to work, then school, then spend time withhim, then sleep. Repeat.Most days It's wake up. Work. School. Sleep. or wake up. School. Work. School. Home. Eat. Sleep.She has been married and divorced about 3-4 times. Been in abusive relationships and been with retarded men- apparently until she met my dad. Idk I wasnt alive then but this is according to the stories I've been told.So does she really have the right to tell me what I should be doing in a relationship when she made bad choices herself?I've never been with an abusive man. One tried to be controling and I got out of it. And right now, I actually found a guy who fits... I love how much he cares, that he's gentle and kind and flat out goofy. He's not afraid to be goofy and himself. Everyting from his gentle smile and gray eyes to the fact he thinks pain is kinky.Simply. I'm lost. I hate arguing with my mom. Honeslty I'm thinking fighting to move out- somehow- is the only way to fix this.I'm 19. I can afford a rent to own, a rental, or something of the sort depending on utilities. My only other bills Ihave is cellphone and car insurance. I've addedit up countless time sand know what I can afford. :/ But I'm afraid that it will make thing sworse.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 I guess your mother made some bad choices when she was younger and now she is just trying to protect you. I know you feel like she is interfering and trying to control your love life, but my guess is she just does not want to see you get hurt. You are at an age now where you want to be independent and that is great. Therefore if you feel like you are ready to move out and you can afford it well then look in to renting a place. Yes it will take you some time to get used to it but you will have your own space. But yes always keep in contact with your mother and reassure her that you are OK. Do whatever it is you want to do in college because it is your life and nobody else's.As for this new guy well just because he has a child nobody should judge him on this, and it is not wrong to want to spend your free time with him. Just make sure you are getting some balance and you are spending time with friends and family as well because they are important in life as well. Explain to your mum that you are happy with him and you are not interested in dating multiple blokes. Good luck.
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