A
male
age
36-40,
*andleft
writes:I've been with my current girl friend for four years, mostly happy times. Lately, however, we seem to get into more arguments and almost every time we do she immediately jumps to the "should we break up" phrase as a solution.I know this seems one-sided, but I really am trying my best to be creative and change things up while staying in touch with what originally kept us together. She on the other hand, is stuck on doing the same thing and then complains of being bored or tired. Is always focused on something other than me, work and school occupy nearly 90% of her time and Im left feeling brushed off or ignored.To get things messy, I've always hung out as a trio with my friends (one male, the other female) and with my best friend away on his honeymoon, I've been hanging out with the other a lot lately, usually just the two of us.Obviously this makes my gf extremely jealous, but Im not the person that would cheat especially in what I consider a serious relationship. At the same time, I notice that my friend has been more open and bold in a flirtatious way unlike before where we were just friends. Im not going to lie, I am more that a little interested in a relationship with my friend but at the same time, I feel no love lost for my girl friend. Any input is greatly welcomed, even if there is no point or path of advise, perhaps it will help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Hi, I guess you should clear things up with your friend first. If both of you agree, that you want to be toghether in a relationship, you could still break up with your current girlfriend.
You could also tell your girlfriend, that you need some time for yourself, to think about your relationship alone and to clear your mind.
Anyway you go, as someone wrote before, you have to find out about your current relationship, what's really the reason for your situation.
I must say, as I'm 25, I don't have so much experience, and maybe not the best advisor. Actually, I'm in a not so different situation myself right now, and I don't know what to do.
But anyway, I think you should follow your heart, as it normally shows you the right direction.
Maybe you can try to work on you relationship on the one side, and on the other side arrange a secret romantic meeting with your friend, where both of you may find out about your feelings.
A
male
reader, cupids_friend +, writes (26 February 2009):
Okay first off I am 20 years old Most people say that oppisets attract as long as it is not to far apart well love nows no boundries and if you really like you friend before you break up with the girlfriend make shure your friend actually likes you back and its not cool to use the break up as a threat I say if you like your friend go for it and if their is anything else I can help with let me know please
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): Sounds like you are starting an emotional affair. Either work it out with your girlfriend, and try to find out what's TRULY going on because she may be reacting to your change in energy (thinking about this other girl, resenting her "busyness"), or she is just not happy for other reasons (work, stress, whatever). The other alternative is breaking up with her, if she brought it up, it's on her mind on some level. Just know that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. You are going to bring your crap (baggage) to the next relationship, and find yourself in the same situation. If you don't deal with the deterioration of your relationship and find out what your part in it is (and hers), you will be looking at another girl in no time.
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